Food & Drink Magazine

Chik-fil-A Can Choke My Chicken

By Waiterstoday @Waiters_Today

Fags are the new Niggers.

 Just ask Chik-fil-A.

 Like any good fundamentalist organization, the fast food restaurant chain which has openly espoused what it calls conservative Christian values is now cloaking itself in the Bible to take a very public stance against a segment of its customer base. And guess what? They, and apparently Jesus, hate gay people and aren’t afraid to let you know it.

In a not-so-veiled stance to serve up hatred disguised as Christian values along with their chicken sandwiches, Chik-fil-A’s president has taken a stance against gay marriage. Chick-fil-A is “very much supportive of the family,” Dan Cathy, president of the popular fast-food chain, said in an interview with Baptist Press. That is, “the biblical definition of the family unit,” he said.

According to the Christian Post, Cathy went further during an interview on "The Ken Coleman Show," saying, "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.'" Cathy was also quoted as saying during the interview, "I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”

Hey Ken…Why don’t you take your Bible and go fuck yourself with it, you ridiculous homophobic hate monger. And you can choke on my chicken while you’re at it.

And exactly why do you give a shit in the first place who marries whom and why should it have any context in a fucking minimum wage fast food business environment in the first place? Up to this point you apparently haven’t had any issue accepting money from the gay community when they spend it on your nutritiously-suspect food. It appears you long for a return to the 1950’s when right-wing hatred was in full bloom against the African-American community where anyone who wasn’t a white racist got the privilege of pissing in segregated toilets and riding in luxury accommodations on the back of public buses.

So let’s go all in, asshole. Grow some stones and throw all your Judeo-prurient cards on the table, Kenny boy. It’s time for you to set up “Queers Only” ordering lines in all of your restaurants. You should also implement “Fags Only” segregated dining sections where the good ol’ normal folk won’t have to commingle with the gay community while they stuff their pieholes with your grease. And don’t forget about letting your offspring get in on your vitriolic fun! You should immediately set up “Butt Ranger Lynch Trees” on the front lawns of all your stores where anyone from the LGBT community who gets out of line in one of your units will proudly hang by their necks as a symbol of what happens to anyone who dares cross your moral line in the quicksand.

The ultimate irony, Kenny, is that you’ve turned out to be the biggest cocksucker of ‘em all.

Look, I could give a shit whether you open on Sundays or not. Keep your fucking Sabbath holy if it floats your ark, or whatever the hell that means in this modern day and age. You want to judge the rest of us who have to labor seven days a week, that’s okay with me. But the second you begin offering up sides of ignorance for me to dip my chicken nuggets in, you’ve gone from entrepreneur to full-blown (pardon the pun) prick.

Company spokesman Dan Perry had this to say in response to the public outcry over Cathy’s statements: "Chick-fil-A is a family-owned and family-led company serving the communities in which it operates. From the day Truett Cathy started the company, he began applying biblically-based principles to managing his business. For example, we believe that closing on Sundays, operating debt-free and devoting a percentage of our profits back to our communities are what make us a stronger company and Chick-fil-A family." Right, asshole. These community donations include over $2 miliion alone in 2010 to antigray groups including the Family Research Council and the Marriage and Family Foundation. Congratulations…Your restaurant chain is officially the sort of hate organization the Klan wishes it still had the clout to be.   

I’d say that I would boycott these grease pits, but I respect the temple that is my body too much to ingest their swill in the first place. I’d further suggest you go fuck yourself, Kenny darling, but I suspect your underused Viagra-kickstarted cock couldn’t reach your asshole even if you stretched it with a medieval penis rack. Instead, how about you make a concerted effort to keep your foot out of your goddamned mouth and like any other decent corporation refrain from serving up a side of Christ with your waffle fries. Do what you do best, and go back to making yourself rich by paying the people who work for you poverty level wages. Just like your Jesus would want, you lame excuse for an oxygen sucker.

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