Maybe I was walking fast. But not too fast I know. I kept my distance where you can still reach me. The strong wind might render me slow and you should take the chance to follow. But did you? For you, i will make myself invisible despite the dark clouds that blinds me. You see, it’s all up to you. I have taken the course I’ve never been to with hope I’ll find your steps there. I wept when I saw the waves carry back the sands where you left our memories. The stamp that was set firmed by love and tears.
I ran but to no avail. The waves were fierce. The sea was in no motion to control it. It remain heedless despite my call. It keeps on flashing back until I see no more of you. Our yesterday was gone. Gone with the tide. It’s all gone. I picked the pebbles, one by one until I can hold no more. I wanna pelt it far that my eyes can’t reach, to a place where no one knows. But forcibly they all went out of my hand. One after the other, settling back on the ground where it belongs. I should leave. Before this whole thing swallow me up. Before all my false hope tricks me. Before all the pain turns into grudges. Before I become someone else.
Maybe I was lost but I knew, not yet that far. I will try to make my way back and find my trail. I might leave heavy stumps from all places I’ve been and heavy heart from all the aches I had. I was in pieces and picking up myself to make me whole again is my task. It’s not yours nor theirs but mine.
I saw the road ahead and it still seems so far. The mirage, I know I can’t trust. My horizon narrowed by the pain inside me, released me slowly from the chain. The chain that guard me for so long. The chain that I thought had protected me all my life. I was wrong. The love that I thought would free me. The same love that chained me. The same love that unites us. The same love that will divide us.
Oh world! What have you done to me? You held me slave. You held me captive. I’ll live up to your expectations and start to lose myself. The favors you gave me, I thought they are all real but they are fantasy to make me believe that you are on my side. For some times, you were there but I know you won’t last. We will soon part ways. When things will fall apart and things won’t go right, can I blame you if your only participation is to give me fleeting comfort ? Things you made me aware then but oblivion took its part.
Now, I see I should have detach from you a long time ago. To prepare myself. Not to get hurt. Oh world! Don’t take it against me and think that I wasn’t grateful. I am. I truly am. But then, I have to realize, our relationship isn’t eternal.
I fell asleep in contemplation. Was it all worth it to run and chase the world? Then, I truly found myself. And this……isn’t a love story.
xoxo
