Oily
There is a squeak on my wardrobe door. Every time I open the door my pet Budgie goes into a catatonic state.
I’ve tried a wide range of ungents, moisturisers and gels all to no avail.
Will you pop in and see me to use your abundant reservoirs of natural emulsifiers to quieten the darn door and give my Budgie the peace she craves and deserves?
Ariadne, Ullapool
Hello Ariadne
I will slip by anytime to check on your wardrobe door.
I have a vast array of elixirs and pungent purifying potions which will need to be applied on the hinges of your wardrobe doors, and locks. And your buttocks. That should do the trick. Whilst there maybe I can tell you about the new company I am setting up, Long and Hard Productions.
Looking for a new PA and I feel you will fit the bill perfectly.
Squeakily yours
Oily
