Posted by Sophie Westrope on April 12, 2014 · Leave a Comment
Why do we always allow people to make us feel so badly about ourselves? We hold onto guilt and we punish ourselves over and over again and still nothing gives. Sometimes you want nothing more than to just hear somebody tell you that everything will be okay. Or that they forgive you.
Sometimes when my heart is aching I shut my eyes as tightly as I can and I imagine myself standing on the edge of a cliff. There’s nothing but land all around me and there is water down below and I’m alone and I am free and calm and I can hear the tide lapping as it kisses the shore before leaving again quickly. And in that thought I have forgotten every worry, every stress, every little thing that makes me wrinkle my nose or furrow my brow and tears roll freely down my cheeks and I feel sheer relief and I sigh.
But then I’m back in the room and the sadness seeps back into my brain as my senses awaken and I realise, unfortunately, that I’m no longer standing on the precipice of happiness. I’m not wandering aimlessly along the edge of a mossy bank with no destination to reach, no timescale to do it in.
I always want to be there, on that cliff edge. It’s simple there. It’s easy. There are no awful memories there and there are no ex lovers or old friendships gone sour to face. There are no money worries or family feuds. There’s just me and the soft breeze. And the calming sea.
