Sweet fancy Francis, it is taking all my strength to not end up on the ceiling like an unnerved cat in a cartoon. I am ovulating. I am breastfeeding. In and of themselves, these are no big things. Together, they make for my personal equivalent of listening to nails on a chalkboard - a room full of chalkboards being scratched by a room full of scraggly-nailed witches and warlocks. Add to that the sound of my husband eating (I don't know...the guy eats louder than any person I've ever known) while snoring and throw in a recording of my mother-in-law and you have yet to touch the irritation I experience when breastfeeding during ovulation. 
Here's the thing, too: it has taken me this long to figure out the issue. I've been breastfeeding him for more than three years now. For a smart woman, my powers of deductive reasoning sure failed me this time. Not that I will do anything about it. I'm still going to ovulate (though, as we're having no more children, there's really no reason and I think there should be some sort of off-switch for those like me...someone write a strongly worded letter about that to Nature...I'll sign that petition). I'm still going to breastfeed until the young lad wishes to stop (sometime around the time he gets his first job, I'm guessing). At least, though, I now know why every month I about lose my mind trying to keep my son's hand off my other nipple while he's breastfeeding. [Insert angelic "ahhhhh" sound here.]
Turns out, I'm not alone. I had no idea! It's a hormonal thing. Well, duh, that makes sense. According to KellyMom.com, "the hormonal changes [during ovulation and just before menstruation] can cause sore nipples for a few days. Typically, both sides will be sore. Many moms of older babies are more bothered with latch on during these times, and it may feel as if baby is clamping down or scraping his teeth on the nipple, even though he doesn’t seem to have changed his latch. Mom may also feel generally uncomfortable and even irritated with nursing. Some moms get relief from the soreness by taking evening primrose oil or a calcium/magnesium supplement." Cut to me running, not walking, to the cabinet to see if I still have these pills. Damn it! Now, cue the inner debate as to whether or not it's worth it to get dressed and go to the store at 9:30 p.m. I know not which I dislike more vehemently, ovulation-nips or clothes. As my son would say, "Decisions, decisions..."
What's the point of all this? I don't know. I needed to vent. I needed to share my revelation. I needed to save for posterity's sake that it's not just me being ludicrous. I needed to let you know you're not alone.
