By Rochelle Griffin
While yes last month was special because we celebrated Thanksgiving, it was even more meaningful to my family because November is National Adoption Month. I have a story to tell… it’s not one that I parade in public, although I definitely don’t hide it. In honor of National Adoption Month, I’d like to share a story in honor of our son… completely with his permission.
You have to go back in time to when I was 16 or 17. I remember distinctly standing in the kitchen of my childhood home with my mom. I told her that I had a gut instinct that I’d have difficulty conceiving. Of course, I had nothing to base my feeling on so my mom brushed it off. In my mind, however, I knew, and I was totally open to adoption.
Fast-forward a few years when I started dating my then-future husband, Keith. As we grew closer, we began having the typical serious “life” conversations. In these conversations, I shared with him my instinct and that adoption would be the route that I would probably go. He didn’t blink an eye. (I seriously have such a great man!!!)
For the first 10 years of our marriage, we did try to conceive without success. I finally had exploratory surgery and found that my fallopian tubes were blocked. Both were re-opened but still no pregnancy. The next step for a biological child was in-vitro fertilization. Keith and I decided to not pursue that avenue. It was never important to me to give birth. It was important to me to be a mother. We decided to move forward with the adoption process.
Now if you’ve never been part of the process, trust me, it’s called a “process” for a reason. OY! Long and drawn out. We were almost through with the grueling stages when we made the decision to put it on hold due to the cost. Adoption can be very expensive and we were already in debt.
About a year later, as I was working as a Hospice RN, I started talking casually with a co-worker about our families. I mentioned that we had stopped the adoption process, and she replied that her friend’s single granddaughter was pregnant and considering adoption. I smiled but truly didn’t expect anything to come from it and didn’t even mention it to Keith. Imagine my surprise when she called me about a month later to tell me that this girl wanted to meet us! Ummmmm yea, I had to tell Keith. He was in shock as we had put the thought of children behind us for a while. I told him that I wanted to at least meet her.
We met her at her grandmother’s house one evening. I’ll never forget it. She was 6 months pregnant and having a little boy. We all hit it off right away, talking about our lives. We said goodbye, knowing that she was going to meet with some other couples as well. As soon as Keith and I were in the privacy of our car, I turned to him and flat out said, with all the conviction that I could muster, “She is carrying our son.” I KNEW she was. I was as sure about it as I was when I was a teen and knew I wouldn’t be able to conceive. Keith could hardly say a word for the next several hours.
Of course, there was still a period of pins & needles as we waited. On Mother’s Day 2001, she called me to tell me that we were the couple that she wanted to adopt her son! For the next 4 months, we had the privilege of going through the pregnancy with her to doctor appointments, ultrasounds, and then of course the birth! I’ll never forget it. The doctor placed Jacob into her arms and then she placed him into mine. As happy as I was, I could see her heart breaking. We each cried but our tears had different meanings.
Six months later, Jacob officially became a Griffin in the eyes of the law.
I wanted to tell this story in honor of National Adoption Month because not many people get to see the whole process, including what the birthmother goes through. I am eternally grateful to Jacob’s birthmother as I can’t imagine life without our son. I have zero doubt that this was God’s plan for our life… he even looks like Keith and me! I always tell Jacob that he may have not been born from my tummy, but he was definitely born from my heart.
Thank you to all birthparents out there. You are such special people and are instrumental in making others’ dreams come true. Bless all of you!
About the Author
She founded GOFITCOACH with her husband Keith after stepping onto the edge of financial & physical ruin. Having experienced a complete turn-around, they now desire to give hope & support to those who are dissatisfied with their current situation.
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