Family Magazine

Bonding With My Adopted Child

By Momatlast @momatlast

By Stella Mak

Bonding with your adopted child is the most vital step in your relationship with your little one. This is not a difficult task, especially if your adopted child is only an infant. The younger it is, the easier it will be to bond. However, if you have adopted an older child, you might need to have lots of patience before you can develop a close relationship with your child.

bonding with your adopted child

For most parents, whether adoptive or otherwise, the love for their child is almost immediate. This parental instinct to love and protect your offspring is usually triggered off automatically upon seeing and holding your adopted child. However, for some parents this may require some time before the emotions set in. Nevertheless, the bond will slowly develop over time.

Why is Bonding Time Important?

It has been discovered by researchers that children who have shown better results in school are usually the ones who have cultivated good relationships with their parents. Those who are able to relate well with their parents are also more likely to grow into confident and well-adjusted adults.

This is especially important for adopted children as they tend to feel insecure and lack attention. Thus, spending more time to find out your newly adopted child’s needs will help you in the long run as your child will slowly learn to trust you and open up to you willingly.

Bonding Tips To Help Adoptive Parents

Nothing will succeed without effort so in order to build your bond with your adopted child, you will need to allocate some time to spend with him/her and stick with it regardless of how your child might reject you in the beginning. Below are some tips which can help you in building this bond.

1. Touch

Touch is actually the best mode of communication with your little one, especially for infants. You can start off by holding your baby close to you or cradle him/her in your arms whenever you have the chance. Even a pat on the shoulder or a hug for praise or to comfort your child will make your child feel good and loved.

2. Sing or hum a tune

It is not important even if you are lousy at singing as you do not have to be a super singing in order to sing to your child. As long as you are able to carry a tune, you are fully of singing popular nursery rhymes to your little one. This is useful in getting your child to feel at ease with you and it is also thought to help in the language development.

3. Talk to your child often

It does not matter if you have adopted an infant or an older child and he or she may not understand what you are saying. Your child will still love to hear your voice. It will also help to build up your child’s confidence that you will always be there for him/her despite your busy schedule. Ensure that you talk to your child from wherever you are in the house even though you are busy with housework and are unable to sit next to him/her. It is comforting enough for your child just to hear your voice.

4. Make full use of everyday activities

If you have adopted an infant, the usual diaper-changing time is a good bonding period with your child. Take full advantage of this time to play, cuddle, kiss or just simply talk to your child. It is important to tell your child that you love him/her and that you are glad he/she came into your life. Find any and every opportunity to tell your child that. Have a family time together every night without the television on.

5. Massaging your child

There are massage classes that you can attend if you are unsure of how to go about doing it. A daily massage for your child, even infants, can go a long way in providing an opportunity for you to touch and be close to your child. Not only will it help in developing a bond with your adopted child, it can also assist in your baby’s physical and mental growth.

There are many little ways in which you can successfully develop a bond with your adopted child but it is most important to persist and not give up even if your older adopted child is not receptive to your approach initially. That is because he/she is still not use to the love and attention from you and need time to get adjusted to the new lifestyle. Bonding is a vital step to a strong relationship so find time to do it despite the fast-paced life that you might be leading. It is time you learn to relax and take pleasure in spending time with your child.

About the Author

Stella-Mak_Adoption Blogger
Stella Mak is a qualified school teacher with over 18 years of teaching experience and a mother of an adopted pair of twins. She runs an informational website that covers tips related to adoption and parenting your adopted child(ren). To take advantage of this useful knowledge, make sure you check out Stella Mak’s website at

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