Diaries Magazine

Being a Responsible Mother and Planning Ahead

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

Being a responsible mother and planning ahead

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It's taken a degree of passive persuasion, but I have succeeded in steering The Feral Threesome's little minds towards career paths. Miss8 has agreed to be a hairdresser, following her many early DIY haircut attempts to bring back the mullet. Which means I shall never pay for a haircut or dye job again. No more achy arms from poorly attempts at blow drying my own hair. Gone are the days of failed attempts at finding the perfect cheap DIY packet dye. I'll be able to have my hair done more than twice a year! Mstr5 is agreeable to becoming a real life Bob The Builder crossed with an Electrician. Hello free household maintenance and repairs! No phoning around for quotes or waiting on tradesmen. My darling little guy will show up promptly and do it all for free! Miss5 was a bit harder to persuade. She had her heart set on being a cleaner - which actually suits me just fine.  I'm super psyched to have a cleaner on call for free. But I also need a Doctor. So she has begrudgingly agreed to become a Doctor AND a Cleaner. Works for me.  And she'll be raking in the cash quicker than the other Doctors on account of her after hours cleaning business and the fact that she will be able to clean her own Surgery. No more planning illness months ahead in order to get an appointment. No more trying to find a Doctor that still bulk bills. I'm just missing an Accountant to manage my money so that I may retire imminently and live a life of luxury on their savvy financial advice. I was considering squeezing one more out for that role. But then I figured it was simply easier to focus on the next major area of their adult lives - their partners. So one will have to shack up with an Accountant. Another will be required to couple up with a Mechanic. And the last one will need to find themselves a Chef for a life partner. Mother of the year, right here.  Being all responsible and securing their futures and stuff. So proud of me.

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