Sometimes I feel a bit of a fraud: how can I presume to advise and try to help brides and grooms when I haven’t been there myself?
I guess it’s all about intentions. I write English Wedding blog because I genuinely want to help – I want to show the work of top wedding photographers to the brides and grooms who are looking for inspiration and ideas. I want to share my experiences of the wedding industry with everyone who might learn from what I’ve learned. And when I can, I want to share my life experience with you in the hope that someone out there might feel comforted, inspired, reassured or enthused by what I can share from inside of me.
Today – this is a scheduled post I wrote on Friday evening. I’ve just had one of the worst days ever. My therapy: writing. What I have to share comes from the heart. I can talk to you about a relationship that lasts; I can tell you that life gets tough as you get older – today I’ve grown up a hell of a lot and I wanted to share something important with you.
You’re never too young to get married
I’m older than the average bride. In some ways I have loads of life experience; in others I’ve very little. I’ve had good and bad relationships. I’ve been with my Gareth for 12 years and we make a strong team – but we’ve had our ups and downs. He has two teenage kids who live with us: that’s a whole different story but one which definitely makes us stronger. We have our families and our histories and all together it makes us: Claire and Gareth, the odd little team that works out ok in the end.
What I do know from reading your stories is, it doesn’t matter at all how old we are; and what I’ve been thinking about today is the age people get married. And you know, it doesn’t matter one bit: we’re all different, and we all change as we grow older – I’m not the same girl I was 12 years ago, but then who is? But when Gareth and I met we were young and foolish and passionate and naive… which is why it works for us now. We’ve been through a lot together – although it seems the tough times are only just beginning.
Grow up together – you’ll be stronger
Most of you reading this blog post will be in your twenties and early thirties. You have your whole lives ahead of you. Planning a wedding is the beginning of a new chapter in life and I admire you so much for making the huge commitment that is marriage. You’ll all have wedding days which are perfect for you. No matter what stresses you encounter in your wedding planning, or how expensive or creative or original your wedding is – you’re getting married and that’s an amazing thing to do.
We all grow and learn every day. Life experience can only come with time. You’ll go through good times and bad, highs and lows, have great adventures and suffer sadness and loss, illness, who knows… you’ll celebrate achievements and move onwards in life: new jobs, new homes, new families. Maybe you’ll find yourselves embarking on new careers, living in new countries – who knows. My point is, no one knows what’s around the corner and all you can do is be positive and stick together through thick and thin.
Be young, be foolish, and be happy
As the song goes… if you’re young, there’s no harm in making mistakes, playing and having a great time – because you’re happy. Young love is the best thing in the world: enjoy every single moment. From that heady moment when he (or she) gets down on one knee to the second your eyes meet from opposite ends of the aisle – love it. Just love it. Don’t let anyone criticize your wedding ideas: vintage or not, DIY or not, quirky or traditional… whatever you want to do for your wedding day right now – just do it and enjoy. Who’s to say when we should get married? My cousin’s just got married at 24; I’ve taken a wedding calligraphy order this week for a 53 year old bride. Both of these brides are very much in love and setting out on a new and exciting adventure.
You’re never too young to get married. If you’re in love, then grab life with all you’ve got and live it together. Share your adventures. It’s brave to make that commitment. I think all the more so for couples in your early twenties: having the guts and determination to promise a life together is an incredible thing. It’s powerful and it’s precious. It’s the strongest foundation stone a relationship can have.
Young love is a wonderful thing. When you’re head over heels in love, with the butterflies and rollercoaster emotions that go with it, your love has such a fierce strength you can take on the world and win. What better time to get married: when you can throw your hearts and souls into the challenges ahead and together, as a team and an inseparable unit, you can win.
Because believe you me, life gets tougher.
Today’s been a tough one for me. But it’s made me think: forming that bond, that partnership that will grow from youth, love and passion into a shared strength and true commitment is something that will see you through life.
When the going gets a little tougher the most amazing thing you can have is someone to hold your hand, to soak up your tears in his t-shirt and to endure the bad things by your side. Growing up is the hardest thing. You think life’s going fine and then it throws you a curve ball – and if you’ve got that partnership that’s grown from the magical spark of young love into something solid and true and supportive, you’ll cope with life and all it can throw at you.
Today I just wanted to share with all the young couples reading this blog: If you have someone, and you love them, follow your hearts, live your dreams and make your relationship last. Face life together. I admire you all.
