One of my favorite movies is the Holiday which stars the very beautiful Kate Winslet, the hot Jude Law, and the charming Jack Black. This totally adorable elderly man in the movie told Kate that she was acting like a supporting actress instead of the leading lady in her own life. This of course was due to the fact that she had allowed this guy who she was in love with or so she thought to string her along only to have him get engaged to someone else while still playing puppet master and stringing her along for his own selfish needs. How many times have we taken a back seat in our own life for the sake of someone else’s happiness? How many times have we given up the title of leading lady to let someone control and dictate how we should live, what we should be, and in some cases, who we should love?
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There are quite a few reasons why people take a backseat but the main reason in my opinion is the fact that we decide to settle for someone we know in the long run may not be the right one. We get tired of being alone or so called being lonely so we begin to date or enter into a relationship with someone we know we have nothing or very little in common with. We try to adapt to the things they like and we start to forget who we are and the qualities that we once loved about ourselves. We then justify or rationalize this behavior as some form of love. Love doesn’t require you to change anything about yourself it enhances who you already are and it accepts who you already are. This is how you become the passenger in your life instead of the driver. You have given up the leading lady status and you have become the best supporting actress while someone else stars in a role that was only created for you to begin with. We essentially give up our own happiness for the sake of someone else. I love to write I then date somone who thinks blogging is useless so I stop writing. I have now given up something I love for the sake of someone elses happiness. I’m no longer the leading lady because I refused to stand up and say “no, this what I love to do and this is what I will continue to do”.
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In an effort to regain control we must first face the reality of the situation and stop rationalizing people and their behavior; let’s call a spade a spade. If a person is an a**hole they’re an a**hole, as simple as that. How many times have we heard a friend say “such and such treats me like crap but he/she is going through a lot at the moment” Welcome to the back seat! I really like art, movies, and reading but my partner doesn’t so I give these things up, you have now officially been cast in the supporting role. We must realize that we control the way others treat us, we allow ourselves to be cast in supporting roles. This not only goes for dating and relationships, it applies to family and friends as well. Friends and family can also play puppet master and cast you out of the role you were designated to play. Anytime you let someone dictate who you should be, where you should go, what you should do, who you should do it with, how you should act, and what you should feel you are no longer the leading character. If some people have the ability to bring out the best in you then some also have the ability to bring out the worse in you. Become the leading lady or man in your own life and maintain good people as your supporting cast.
So ask yourself are you the lead character in your life?
