Dating Magazine

Are You A Heebie/Sheebie?

By Tobehitch

What is a heebie? What is a sheebie? Let’s start there. A heebie is a creeper. A sheebie is a “she” creeper. To break it down even more, a creeper is someone who just…kind of freaks you out a little bit. Normally, it’s not overt. I mean, yes, once in a while you meet those guys/girls that just absolutely scare the shiza out of you. The moment you see them, the first thought you think is “I never want to be in a 1 on 1 situation with this person…” But most of the time, the heebieness/sheebieness is a bit more subtle than that. (Btw, apparently there’s this guy named Scott Song who originally came up with this concept. Personally, I’ve never read his blog-I’m only writing about this from conversations amongst friends. So these are not my original ideas!)

It’s the way that they look at you…or the way they try to stick to you like white on rice wherever you go…or how they say these really uncomfortable “one liners” about how they’ve never seen such a beautiful girl/handsome guy before. It’s not that they say it. It’s the way they say it. They say it in a way where when you hear it, the only feeling you have is “I have been violated.”

A heebie/sheebie may not be the most unattractive person (from a completely objective viewpoint), and most of the times, aren’t necessarily ugly. But, it’s just that aura, that vibethat they gush out. That neediness, that stalkerish feel, that obsessiveness that obviously exudes out from their being.

As a matter of fact, a lot of heebies/sheebies Are stalkers. And, no I am not talking about facebook stalking. Facebook stalking is, in a strange way, socially acceptable. Heebie/sheebie stalking is for real, and is straight up awkward as heck. When they like a girl/guy, they start making an extra effort to make sure they are always there. Some literally spend some nights/evenings camping outside the apartment/house of the girl/guy that they like, and just…wait for them to come home.

Going on a car trip with some friends? Heebies/Sheebies are the ones who work extremely hard to make sure they are in your car. And the unfortunate thing is, almost every social group HAS at least one heebie/sheebie, and just straight up avoiding them is very difficult to do. This is made worse by the fact that they do everything in their power (literally) to make sure that they are at every event you are going to.

Heebies/Sheebies generally do not realize that they are heebies/sheebies. If they knew, they would probably (not always) take conscious/active steps to fix their heebieness/sheebieness. However, since most heebies/sheebies think they are acting like they should, they usually don’t know that they’re doing anything wrong and continue to freak people out. That’s the worst part!

I’ve heard of some who have literally cut out pictures of themselves and one of their obsessions (usually the Alpha Males/Beautiful Women of a group, but sheebies/heebies will usually settle for whoever is willing to give them attention), and literally glue “couple” pictures and hide them in their secret journal. True story. You would think that this kind of stuff only happens in movies/TV Shows. But, dude, it happens in real life. Real life! How freaking scary is that?

Imagine if you opened up the journal of one of your “friends” and she/he had all these pictures of you together (glued not real) in that journal. Holy crap! That would feel like violation x12398.

Heebies/Sheebies should never be given an inordinate amount of attention. It’s the equivalent of feeding birds at San Fransisco. For those of you guys who have no idea what I’m talking about, at Pier 39 in San Fransisco there’s a flock of seagulls that live there. Their source of food? The food of innocent bystanders trying to enjoy their meal. Literally. Last time I went there, I swear to God three seagulls flew out of the sky and literally plucked the fish straight out of my plate while I was eating at one of the benches. They were vicious and desperate.

I know for a fact it didn’t start that way. The seagulls became insane when people started feeding them. At first, they were afraid of humans and kept their distance. However, as time went on, they began to realize more and more and more that no one’s going to hurt them. Furthermore, they realized that if they just stick around long enough, and pester you long enough, an opportunity to strike will soon open for them.

Such is the danger of feeding the heebie/sheebie. If you give them attention, you will start getting a bunch of blocked phone calls where all you hear is heavy breathing on the other end of the line (okay, I realize that’s a little dramatic but I’m sure it can happen). If you give the heebie/sheebie attention, then seriously you will NEVER be able to shake them off. They will follow you around until your dying day! Escaping the Heebie/Sheebie, becomes an extremely difficult task. If you had just never fed them, you would probably have been able to avoid most of the unpleasantries. However, once they are fed, ending the one sided relationship can only be done through dramatic means/violence/yelling/drama/changing your social group entirely.

How do you know if you’re a heebie/sheebie? Well, every social group usually has one. Try to think about who the heebies/sheebies of your group are.

Can’t think of anyone? Then that person is probably YOU.

Hahaha totally kidding (half kidding), it’s not always easy to know who the heebie/sheebie of a group is. That’s why, be careful! If you think you might be one, work to fix it! It can be done! I promise, you can change your ways! If, however, you think you’ve been feeding a heebie/sheebie, then cease and desist immediately!

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog