Diaries Magazine

And 5 Becomes 6...

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Fear not – I’m not pregnant.  
Perish the thought!
Miss5 becomes a Miss6 today.
Yeah I’m okay, thanks for asking.  I’m quite misty-eyed, but I’m passing that off as going for the ‘dewy eyed effect’ and making it work for me.

And 5 becomes 6...

Like this, but brunette and minus the pink frou-frou frock.  Or the blubbering speech.  Okay, so probably not much like this at all.

So a bit of a trip down memory lane…
Six years ago I was cursing the bastard that put me through this phenomenal amount of pain.
Six years ago I was petrified of having to pass an enormous watermelon out of my lady parts.
Six years ago I decided I wasn’t ready for kids.  Approximately 3 hours before I gave birth.  Bit of a late realisation, right?
Six years ago my world changed forever, and I am still – to this day – trying to locate my personal space, brain, my ‘marbles’ in general, my ‘shit’ to be gotten together again, peace and quiet, and free time.  They all up and deserted me when Miss6 arrived.  Never to be seen again.
I truly do not know what I used to do with myself BC (Before Children).  Apart from drinking a lot more and sleeping a whole helluva lot more.
But it goes without saying that I wouldn’t change a thing.
Except for maybe the whole birthing process.  It would be so much nicer if they either :
a) came out like those shrunken hand towels, where you add water and they instantly morph into the correct shape and size.  Would make for a much more pleasant and painless birthing experience, right?
b) came out like Sea Monkeys, so you had a few weeks to cultivate them into size, and get used to the whole parenting thing.  Again, making for a much more pleasant and painless birthing experience.
c) made it so that the men folk could give birth.  Don’t care how.  Just make it happen.
d) hooked up all manner of evil electrodes to the men folk’s blokey parts so that you could at least enjoy your contractions….together.

And 5 becomes 6...

Took me a while to find the Birthday fail

Miss6 has rocked my world beyond all expectations.  She is my shopping buddy, my coffee date, my workmate (on the odd occasion that I forget the havoc she wreaks on the office when she comes into work, and stupidly agree to let her come with me again).
Some of Miss6’s pearls of wisdom  :
“You’re the best girl in the whole world Mummy” Clearly a good judge of character, and also, highly intelligent.
“You’re smarter than Daddy and the whole world Mummy” Insightful, to boot.
“You’re my best friend.  Oh wait, you and Aaliyah” I can totally knock her best school friend Aaliyah off the joint BFF mantle with one trip to Macca’s.  Just saying.
“You’re looking good Mummy. Like Sponge Bob” Almost a compliment.
When asked what she wanted for her 6th birthday, here’s what she said :
Katy Perry As in the person.  Not a doll.  Not a CD.
Rollers for her hair So she can be like #1Nana
Lip gloss To eat, not wear.
 Crink crink AKA perfume.  But not perfume.  She’s very clear on that fact.
A “Mingo” Yep…no idea…
A magic thing Again…no idea…
A princess dress Awesome…finally, something I can do.

And 5 becomes 6...

Considering she usually gets around in a High Visibility safety vest, I'm really excited by her request for something slightly more...ummm...feminine

Happy Birthday Miss6.  Another year closer to being the Miss25 that you think you are.
Also, if anyone knows Katy Perry – could you hook me up with a private performance in lieu of Miss6's other requested gift, the "Mingo"?  Awesome, thanks.

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