All good things must start somewhere and even the greatest feats have started from a single thought that leads into action. This text begins a new chapter in my life, for which I have prepared ever since I was four years old and consciously after I turned twelve. Where it all leads me, I have a clear vision set, but how it will happen is unclear and ultimately up to the masses that create Stars as I can lift myself only so far.
When I get out there and become part of the pop culture forever, I come out of the blue or so it seems, only because I have worked last 14 years with an unmatched perseverance and ambition to build my persona, music and philosophy into a product that enchants the thinking masses of this world, while moving the asses on the floor.
I have always been able to muster courage to do things I have been the most afraid of and turn my weaknesses into strengths and my greatest power lies in the ability to change as a person and to be able to not only change my opinions if I feel like I am on the wrong side, but also to accept the change of heart. And I already went and did it.
Deep down I guess I am a philosopher and a poet with will power that moves mountains before breakfast (I like to eat my breakfast at 2 pm by the way) and might become a superstar as much for the fame and fortune as just to prove a point – that we all can do better than this.
I have not really idolized any individuals too much. There is naturally a lot of direct and indirect influences as a musician from all forms of culture and entertainment, a lot, to be exact - and even though I could say Eminem and Bjork are two of my idols, I don’t really listen to their music that much (at least not anymore). But I can respect Marshall’s honesty as a performer who is there to deliver to his audience and skills as a lyricist and Bjork’s ability to turn her unique personality and artistic vision into a commercial success while not compromising her integrity as an artist the slightest.
Britney Spears is another individual I can respect in some matters, for she has shown that a person can change for better against all odds, evident in her transformation, I am sure both due and despite of the toughest tabloid turmoil in the last years.
As for Ms. Germanotta or Lady Gaga, I have not formed a clear opinion of her yet, for all I know she might turn out to be just a one-trick pony that caters certain niche mass for rest of her career, despite the FAME she has – a bubble that may burst out inevitably unless she can reinvent herself à la Madonna. But since Gaga is one of the more famous stars at the moment, her achievements are one reference point of how well I am doing with my career as a star, once I get to that level of fame. Right now though, Joanne is just one of many people in my growing list of talented people I am keen to work and collaborate with. I just aim so much higher. “How much higher?”, “So high, so high…”
Then there is late Michael Joseph Jackson. For every field there are set records to be broken and for those born with an unquenchable ambition to become famous exemplify this need in the most brutal and naked way possible, by pouring our very being out there for everyone to be either lifted up or teared down – usually the both. I have never idolized Michael Jackson for his music, personality or fame, but rather for his ambition to be the best, his legacy, work ethic and dedication to the nuances. Furthermore I can completely understand and relate to, freak-show aside, to the pressures Michael had to endure as the most famous star in the world, even though I am still a relatively nobody.
The way I see it the fame is and should be treated by us artists as a tool of trade as much as it is an end-game and sometimes a sick reward for lifting the spirits of the masses. My vision as an artist is to reprogram the thinking mass and in the process to become the most influential and the most successful artist alive. One of my dreams related to this is to be able perform to half of the world in the opening of summer Olympics likely in the year 2024, with Super Bowl being my safety net and also deliver a show of a lifetime on my own. While that might sound something like from a Hollywood movie script, I treat all of this like a job and whatever prestige and riches I get is a byproduct of the passion.
These are real thoughts and real dreams I just feel like I am able to achieve.
Michael Jackson won eight Grammys in 1984 [1] and it was tied by Santana in 2000 [2]. Thriller is also the highest selling album in the history with an estimate of 65-110 million copies sold worldwide [3]. However, now we have over 2 billion people more living than in 1980’s and the way we consume and partake in culture has changed completely as have the ways everything is being marketed to the fans and consumers.
For those reasons I have set my goals to one and half times above the existing records to reflect this change in magnitude. This would mean winning 12 Grammys in a single night (though there are less categories now) and selling at least 165 million copies of one album worldwide assuming Thriller has sold at least 110 million.
These figures are downright ludicrous to even consider for the most people who dabble with art and they should be, but for a person who has had this vision of inspiring the whole generation in so many ways beyond just music ever since he or she was four years old, it is different. It feels almost too easy, because most of the people live their lives without real aim surrounded by distractions to keep aiming from.
Yet, everybody wants to be a star or at least to make their mark right up to their dreams being drowned by the noise that is overwhelming due to the scattered (social) media and dumbed down expectations from every jealous person they encounter, defining the ignostic spirit of our almost spiritless age of mainstream culture – the Zeitgeist-lessness, if you will.
And it is hard to reach success for the very same noise. The way I see it though, the cream of the crop will actually stand so much more due to all the mediocrity that pours upon us. In my opinion it is harder to become noticed if you aim to be popular in some restricted field or genre, while at the very top I see no competition; We have no true generation-changers out there like Michael Jackson, Beatles or Mozart were.
What we got is mostly fame-filled egos on a feeding frenzy. What you want is what you get, but only because most do not know better. There is a huge gap in star spectrum and a demand for something greater than another tamed Idol without own voice or courage to aim higher than the sum of their Facebook fans combined. You just have yet to realize it.
The fame game, money, media coverage, awards, sales and penetration to popular culture by any means necessary should not dictate your whole Pathos as an artist, but they can be good indicators to whether you are doing something right as an entertainer. To put it this way: in any job in which performance can be measured in a meaningful way and you love the said job, you can and should set goals for yourself that are realistically within your reach and then some.
Dreams on the other hand should be almost impossible to attain, but we get there in a bit. For me to set any less of a goal than to become the most influential and the most successful artist alive is unthinkable – a joke.
Through art, music and beyond in this quest for glory, regardless of what happens, my effort and story unfolding, I hope, will not be in vain and finds the audience that can appreciate and support it, as every person with some form of mindfulness I have personally met and shared my dreams and motif with, have unequivocally shared the belief that I am destined to create my own destiny on my way to greatness and perhaps change pop culture while I am at it. With that kind of praise pouring in, it has been an uphill battle to keep my ego in check, but I have encountered as much jealousy as well.
I have felt often like a walking reality check for many aspiring creative souls that pass by, with my unprecedented passion and an unmatched work ethic when it comes to music. It is hard to face a person who makes hardest things you do to become the best artist you can be to seem like a walk in a park. In many ways though, I am a late bloomer, except that I have found my purpose very young and have gone through the kind of thinking process about my existence and meaning of life before I turned 21 the most people barely touch in their lifetime.
I also made a choice a long time ago to not to fade my name in vain, even though I have been a shameless self-promoter ever since my first two songs I composed at the age of twelve or so were aired on a very popular terrestrial radio show where I come from. I do not have a cult following or large active fan base at the moment, just several, if not tens of thousands of people lurking online who have listened and liked my very unique music back in a day prior the biggest social media boom and a handful of absolute die-hard fans who have been along for the creative roller coaster from the get-go. Soon everyone will have the same privilege as this text is just one of many ways I am beginning to build a momentum to start my career as a mainstream artist.
I will not go into details just yet, but in retrospect the first seven years after I started making music seriously, was about defining my creativity by pouring out ideas like a waterfall in frenzy and seeing what sticks, and the seven years after that about transforming through the most messed up psychological hell one can go through without substance abuse or torment from the outside world, from which I then snapped out of like it was just a final test I had to pass through.
That was not so long ago, and in fact I am now rewriting my life plan that contains a detailed road map for the next 1600 days or so with a goal set that by the time I will be considered a star. Next fourteen years I see as time of building a life lasting meaningful and an awe-inspiring relationship with this world through fans, media and pop culture. In another words with you, whoever is reading this.
In the middle of all these growing pains and joys I have composed perhaps more music than any other individual in this planet. Still, to me it has always been about constantly raising the bar in every way what comes to quality, not about quantity for the sake of it, but to get to the level where creativity is as easy as breathing you have to produce, produce, produce.
Repetition is the king and forms the foundation one uses to evolve and seek that higher ground. Anyway, to give some perspective, during the first two most insane creative years I started making music professionally, I finished close to twenty full length albums with all having a very distinct style, story and inspiration behind, and there is even one album I did in 24 hours with artwork and all. These works have had an enthusiastic, but small exclusive audience, which is about to change.
Now, here is the kicker: All the work I have done so far, while standing on its own, have been also part of groundwork and an elaborate study for my real debut to come. I also realized this just a few years ago. Truth is that back when I was taking my baby steps as a visionary and a musician I completely thought I was ripe and ready to take over this world by overnight.
Oh boy, was I out of my head then! The essence of success I captured early on though; The “secret” that if you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve or at least a fuzzy one that keeps on getting brighter the more you learn about yourself, then even the most outlandish thing you do while pushing the boundaries will shape that vision into reality, even if it just tells the direction where not to go.
I will tell you another secret now: The greatest performers – those with true ambition, talent and dedication, who have the guts to do and say things no one else dares, have all been broken and insecure in some way before they pushed themselves permanently under the spotlight, spilling everything they are as a person to the whole world. When you are between the rock and a hard place with an unquenchable thirst to be loved and understood in droves, you have no other choice than to go all the way with your dreams as no audience equals death.
Yet, I have found happiness also when I just get to create. Not even finishing songs, but just when I can form rhythm like one would sculpt a statue; Chiseling away the rough shapes to find the form that was always there or plant and nurture a thought like a seed of a tree and let it grow freely. While my tastes and talents span in all directions, my greatest love has always been music and dancing and my understanding the essence of sprezzatura comes largely from those worlds.
When I was a very young child I grasped instinctively to certain sounds and harmonies with all of my three-to-four year old attention span like a sponge and to the way they felt in my eardrums and how I saw music as vivid colors and abstract evolving shapes moving in time and space.
What really took me completely in was the way music could immediately affect the mood. I felt like I had literally found a bottomless goldmine and I still do! To me music has always been about immediacy. I fell in love with the directness of sound. Oh, how I do love dancing to the beat with all of my heart! Music can have endless character and nuances yet can be very concise and powerful at the same time in a way no other art form can imitate in as in-your-face fashion. A painting or a statue or a stage play one has to sip with patience or pass through, a book one can lay down while imagination runs its course and a movie requires our constant attention to keep within its magic.
Music on the other hand just is and can capture or destroy mood of any given moment in a jiff. Sound can be very unforgiving medium as what you hear is what you get. That is why becoming a successful musician and a performer is so challenging yet rewarding gig. Everybody wants to be a star deep down at some point but only few treat it like a job and are willing to do whatever it takes to become the best at what you do.
I was about four years old and remember traveling on a boat on a busy harbor somewhere in this planet. Every summer our family would go on camping on a nearby island. The boat was simple in construction with an open engine in the middle and while it was not that big, maybe 25 feet or so, it felt huge for a child.
I remember sitting at the one end of the boat and grabbing the wooden railings just so that I could feel the steady low rumble of the engine in my body. It made me feel comfortably numb, almost hypnotizing and I was mesmerized by the sounds in the harbor surrounding us. Big freight ships looming in the distant with their low humming engines mixing with the sound of big waves splashing on the wooden railing while occasional loud sonorous horns echoing from the said ships were harassing seagulls that were circling near the docks making their own distinct squeaky noises.
Combine all that with the engine running steadily in the middle, while chilly wind from the sea is circling and blasting against your face and you have a sonic cocktail only a child can be excited about for what it is. I remember humming in a harmony back and forth with the engine sound and the sound emanating from the freight ships in the distant while grabbing on the bench and loved the way it all resonated in my head. It was one of the very peculiar passing moments that shaped my future as a thinker and a doer in a very nuanced way.
Back then I did not know how I was going to make my mark and I was not a prodigy per se, just very observant child and knew that I was set to constantly evolve and seek beauty everywhere I looked.
I hope that my love for music and creativity will ultimately show through and this most insane sane journey to fame and fortune gets some legs the more passengers tag along for the ride and start rooting for my success. As one can lift themselves only so far, it is ultimately the audience that decides who deserves the spotlight. So while I will get out there headlong, bold and proud I must stay the most humble at the same time.
What you contribute to the culture and how you will be remembered is what matters the most from the perspective of society and a personal prosperity and happiness is a byproduct of a job well done. You see it is not about big guns, big dicks or big tits anymore. It is none of those things. Even culture can and should mature given the chance, it just needs something greater to relate to and reflect upon to see its shortcomings and then either go home and grow up or grow some.
This is an open invitation to an unique dance with a different kind of a dreamer and doer behind these texts and teasers, and while writing here might be an interesting exercise and help me in some ways to spiral into success once I get recognition elsewhere, the real story can unfold only out there on a stage, between the mind and a microphone; Chanted with courage and pounded upon millions of like-minded with a beat that leaves no stone unturned and no ass unburned. All dreams must start somewhere… My dream is to change the pop culture forever and my message is simple: We can do better than this.
Thus, I am ripe and ready to spill my guts and share my love and awareness with you, but I need something in return. I came here for good and I have just two questions to readers turned fan elect. First question is that now that you have me, how do you want to pick this brain? My second question is two-fold: What is your ultimate dream and how do you want to be remembered?
Discuss.
- Just Another Superstar
Personal information:
I am 22-28 years old depending on who you ask and how well they know me, but mostly people say that I am 22-25 years old. I also obviously am alive, think, breath, and live somewhere and have a gender. This journal (my first blog by the way, yay!) is a true account of things happening right now, partly what has made me the person I am and a bit about what is going to happen in the future. I am still a relatively nobody and even though I have some modest presence out there I am trying to expand into a full time gig, I will keep this corner anonymous to leave excess ego out of equation for the time being.
Stay tuned, stay fresh!
PS. Reading now my first blog post through and if I were not privy to this before, my first reaction might be something like wat. But I already went and did it, so there you go. I have no excuses, just balls, what is yours? All I know that my passion to create, think and inspire the whole world will never die and will only grow stronger regardless of what happens. Already has done so.
