Dating Magazine

Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That: Online Dating BS

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

I write frequently about online dating and how I’m not a huge fan of it anymore. However, I neglected to share why I have chosen to meet people the good ole fashion way. The past week has definitely confirmed that I need to stay my ass off of dating websites. After my sister coerced me into giving it a try again, I decided to reactivate a profile from one website and try out a new iPad ap called Badoo which allows you to connect with others who are in your area. You set up a profile and you can chat with others via their chat platform. Anyway, I learned that the bullshit is still more prevalent than ever when it comes to online dating.

online dating profile

I’ve never had a problem or shortage in the number of people that contact me. My problem is with the quality and not so much the quantity. I simply can’t understand why someone can’t type a decent message expressing interest in my profile. Instead, I get these lame ass messages stating “Girl, get at me with those lips” or the spelling (Ebonics) is so bad that I can’t even understand what the hell they’re talking about. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I then get a message from someone who writes to me and says he likes to pick his women up and be playful, but if I’m over 220 lbs he can’t pick me up because that’s too much “fluffiness” for him! That was in his first and only message to me because I damn sure didn’t reply. At least let me ask you to pick me up first! What kind of foolishness and f**kery is that!

online dating

The screen shot above is a message I received on Badoo. I call this man my online dating stalker! He has literally followed me on every dating and social networking website that I’ve registered for. I first received this exact same message in 2006 on MySpace, then Facebook, not to mention and a few others. Same exact wording, same photos, same lame ass man! If you’re going to copy and paste messages, at least be creative enough to write 3 or 4 different scripts. Dude, you’re still looking for the perfect woman? There are too many single women in the world for someone to have not found someone in 6 years of being active on any dating site. He’s also been 30 for the past 6 years!!!!!!

Everyone who contacted me were repeat offenders; meaning they had contacted me before I stopped dating online in 2010.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with online dating websites. However, something is obviously wrong with some of the people. After going through some of my messages, I turned off my phone, shut down my laptop, got me a glass a wine, and sat down in front of my TV. In the words of Sweet Brown, “ain’t nobody got time for that”.

Are you currently registered with any dating websites? If so, do you have these same problems?

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