Skiing is a hazard to your health, this is hardly breaking news. Consistently labelled as the world’s most dangerous safe sport, skiing is not for the faint of heart. At the towering summit of each ski-slope, you’ll face your worst nightmares and more, these five bizarre, yet legitimate, causes of skiing-related deaths are just the tip of the iceberg (which, incidentally, is another danger of skiing, everyone knows that icebergs are the product of reckless skiing).
Bragging
When it’s pouring down with rain outside your London office, it’s best not to brag about your upcoming getaway to your grumpy colleagues. If you insist on doing so, thanks to some wildly experimental medication or unfortunate personality traits, make sure anything bulky, sharp or lethal is removed from your desk, people don’t like other people being happier than themselves.
‘Slow Down’ signs
It’s common knowledge that ‘slow down’ actually translates to ‘speed up’ in the contemporary English dictionary. Naturally, these obstructions are the cause of great concern to ski-slope entrepreneurs and owners who are forced to sit and watch as their money-bags fly, at breakneck speeds, into these obtuse and over-sized metallic death-traps.
James Bond
It’s a well-known fact that each James Bond star has made it a requirement that each film depicts Bond fighting off some goons on the beautifully scenic mountainsides of Austria and France. This being said, it’s a terrible inconvenience for those poor souls caught in the cross-fire, that certainly wasn’t on the brochure. It’s to be noted that humming the theme tune is also a dangerous distraction due to how catchy it’s believed to be and the low-pitch, which can attract bears.
Off-guard Compliments
The dangers of slope gondolas are over-stated in today’s society; the real danger lies in the form of the charming, sensitive and overly kind chair-lift operators waiting up top. Record numbers of people are said to have been so taken aback by these disgustingly kind operators and their smooth compliments, whether it be a person’s well-polished ski-boots or attractive ear-muffs, that they’ve been unable to dismount the lift properly and have ended up rolling back down the mountain.
The Abominable Snowman
A myth to the misguided, the Abominable Snowman, or if you will, the Yeti, is a clear and ever-present danger to anyone who buckles up their ski-boots in the morning. As a renowned fan of fast-paced and extreme snow sports, the legendary snowman (or snowmen if you’ll allow yourself to dream a little bigger) is usually attracted to populated slopes and it’s craving for ski-attire can prove to be a bit of a bother to those in the ski-vacation market.
