In five years, you'll be almost 9 years old. By then, you'll no longer be breastfeeding (what that will be like, I cannot even imagine right now, as you are lying asleep on my breast), you'll no longer need me to walk you to the park when you want to go, you'll no longer need me for a great many things. You'll still need me to love you, listen to you, laugh with you, and guide you by example, though, so in five years' time, I'll still be here with you to do all those things. We'll be gleefully unschooling, learning with and from each other, maintaining our bond and making it stronger day by day. Where will I be in five years? Wherever you are, my sweet.In ten years, you'll be almost 14 years old. Some days, I cannot imagine you ever being a teenager. Some days, I think you might already be one. We'll still be unschooling. Learning about life and all in includes is no easy feat, so we'll have many years together before you head off into the world and unschool by yourself for the rest of your life. By this point, I would like to have renewed my teaching license and perhaps adjunct at an online high school (for which I can work from home) and/or teach a class at the local community college. Of course, I will need to finish my masters degree(s) before then, so somewhere between the next 5 and 10 years, that'll need to get accomplished, but I'm in no rush. You'll be doing your thing and I'll be doing mine, BUT I'll always be here when you come home and need to talk, ask questions, vent, or test out your budding views on the world. Where will I be in ten years? Here for you, my love.
In fifteen years, you'll be almost 19 years old. By then, you could be doing any number of things - college, work, both, to name but a few options. If I've done my job properly, you'll not need me for most things by that point. I'm guessing you'll think you need me for less than you actually do, but that's yet to be determined and probably quite subjective. I'll be in my mid-50s by then. That seems so far away! What I'd like to do is follow you wherever you go. I'll sleep in a trundle bed pulled out from under your dorm room bed. I'll camp out in a tent in your backyard. I don't care what I have to do, I just want to be by you, because I love you and I like you. Because I respect you, I won't, of course, do any of those things. We'll be spending significantly less time together in fifteen years. Your dad will still be working full-time. I don't particularly want to start a new career just to retire in 10 years' time, so I'll do something part-time. I'll continue as an adjunct faculty member, I'll work at the bookstore (and spend my paycheck on the merchandise), or maybe I'll open that little bookstore/coffee shop of my own that I've always wanted only to sell it off when your dad and I are ready to retire and travel the world. I haven't decided on this one yet. I like having options. I'm excited for that freedom. I'm afraid of that freedom, too, though, because I know that freedom will come with a price - missing you desperately. I don't know what I'll be doing, but I know where I'll be in 15 years: a phone call away, my baby.
Whatever the time frame, wherever we are, I will always be right here for you without question, condition, or second-thought. I'm your mama always.
