According to RedEyeChicago, cab drivers in Chicago will soon be allowed to add $50 to the fare if a passenger vomits in their car.
This sounds reasonable to us, until Chicago cab drivers start taking detours down Roller Coaster Avenue, just to try to collect an extra $50 from as many customers as possible.
Still, it could be worse, especially if they added any of these things to their cabs to further boost your vomit-related fare:
1. A kindergarten class of children, who tend to vomit when they see someone else vomit. You may think vomiting in a minivan cab is bad, but when the cab driver squeezes in another 20 easily-ill kids, and charges you $1000 to clean up the mess, you may think twice about how much you drink when you go out.
2. An additional mystery fare contained in a Deal Or No Deal brief case. This is one time you don’t want to get the $10,000 brief case. And a bad idea for the cab driver, because obviously so many people are going to vomit into a perfectly good brief case.
3. Seasons tickets to the Chicago Cubs, and a billy goat. Sure the Cubs are currently the worst team in baseball, and some blame the Curse of the Billy Goat on over a century of the team not winning the World Series. And while a billy goat may bring further bad luck to the Cubs, it also may bring further bad luck to your cab ride, as goats are ruminants. This means the goat can keep throwing up and swallowing the same cud, the entire cab ride, ringing up additional $50 fares like a slot machine.
