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3 New Slogans For “Skinny” Bundles

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

A CBC reader called Canada’s new government-mandated $25 TV skinny bundle packages a “rip-off.” These plans give subscribers a basic bundle of major networks, and allows them to buy other bundles of channels to add to their basic bundle.

Complaints from internet users include that the bundles wind up costing more than regular packages, and that bundles have extra costs that are not in other packages.

Since we are all about helping media oligopolies, here are:

3 New Slogans We Propose For Canadian Skinny Bundles

  1. “They’re skinny like a person on a diet. In other words, they will instantly rebound to their former weight.”
  2. “Cable companies: giving people what they don’t want until Netflix and Apple find better ways to provide programming and drive us out of business.”
  3. “Speaking of ‘skinny’ thank goodness we don’t run restaurants. If we did, we’d only let you order bundles of the menu item you want, along with eight of your least favorite vegetables, and a ball of recycled processed cheese.”

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