Current Magazine

3 Last Minute Republican Black Friday Sales

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews
  1. 10% off next book written by Ted Cruz for every donation made to his campaign by midnight.*
  2. Free carbon emissions in exchange for putting any Republican candidate’s bumper sticker on the back of your SUV or pick-up.**
  3. Buy one get one free brain surgery from Dr. Ben Carson.***

*Working title: “Making Money while running for President when having absolutely no chance of becoming President. Or Vice-President.”

**Stickers say “The GOP: We disagree with the 100% of Exxon scientists that say climate change is man-made.  However, we do agree with accepting donations from oil companies.” 

***Free brain surgery will remove part of your brain that understands science or logic.

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog