3 Black Friday Republican Candidate Sales We’d Like To See

1. Buy one candidate via a Super PAC, get one free.*
2. 50% off Chris Christie. (via a post-Thanksgiving meal weight loss plan).
3. Free Night At Any Trump Casino If You Wear “Make America Great Again” Cap in busy streets.**

*free candidate must be of equal or lesser value. For example, if you buy Ted Cruz, you get Carly Fiorina for free as your vice-presidential candidate to lobby.

**Offer only available to Trump casino creditors in exchange for them forgiving debt in any bankruptcy proceedings. Not valid in neighbourhoods with minorities that have been insulted by Trump.