Things at home have been hectic. In fact, I’ve been going a little insane. I’m here to share with you today a few trade secrets about staying happy in a house full of small children, frankly, because it’s so damned hard.
Here’s my list:
Forget ‘Clean’
the messiest (Photo credit: demandaj)
Not only should you forget the word ‘clean’, but you should also forget ‘tidy’, ‘organized’, ‘neat’, and ‘on-time’. If you’re reaching for these imaginary brass rings, you’re already behind. There is no clean, and there won’t be for a long time. You have to accept that.
Throw Away the To-Do List
to do list (Photo credit: mister ebby)
Just toss it on out. Sure, you’ll get everything crossed off, but it will be months until you do. It’s best not to even write it (unless you’re like me, and writing the list is the only way you’ll remember). By the time you get to the bottom of it, the list will be scribbled on, dog-eared, and covered in soy sauce stains, anyway. It’s just not worth it.
Sleep
Sleeping (Photo credit: Ed Yourdon)
I used to feel guilty about resting, taking a nap, feeling like ‘something won’t get done’ if I sleep, or sleeping was just too indulgent. Well, here’s a question: Would you rather get a little rest and catch up later, or half-ass your tasks as a clumsy, red-eyed, sniveling beast? You owe it to yourself (and everyone else around you) to feel rested – at least occasionally.
Enjoy the Good Stuff
Champagne Gatinois Rosé Grand Cru (Photo credit: dpotera)
I’ve had every form of Mom Guilt imaginable – the one where I feel awful taking up more than a sliver of the bed because there were five people in it, the one where I don’t need a new jacket because the kids need three, the one where I can’t enjoy a well-deserved evening alone in the house because it’s too quiet. I’ve been there. And it’s taken me almost four years to let go. So, for next time? Buy yourself a lobster and a bottle of champagne, crank up the television to a normal tone, and camp out on the living room floor and eat it. And don’t apologize for it. Ever.
Put Down that Parenting Book
Reading (Photo credit: paulbence)
There’s nothing that upsets parents more than continuously holding up a yardstick to their child. Does he eat ten solid foods? Does he point to what he wants? Does he throw a ball with two hands? Can he whine in eight syllables? In more cases than not, your child is developing perfectly well. Why are you torturing yourself? And me?
Don’t Complicate Your Life
Setting off on complicated (or expensive, or both) journeys while you have small children in the house is always a losing proposition. I know you think you can do it, that everyone will be fine, we all do, but when your entire family is trapped in a ten by ten square for five days because you’re having hardwoods put in, you start to realize the error of your ways. Perhaps applying to graduate school or attempting to become a sommalier while you’re still cleaning spitup out of your hair aren’t the most solid plans. There will be plenty of time to conquer the world. You don’t have to do it today.
Don’t Push too Hard
I know how crappy it is to be at home with kids all day. I also know how crappy it feels to force social interaction when a) you’re only half into it, and b) everyone else is only half into it as well. Your life has changed, and it will change again. The adult interaction you so crave will return, in abundance, when your kids go off to school. In fact, you’ll probably start hiding behind your car from the president of the PTO. Enjoy whatever silence you can steal for however long it lasts.
Don’t Be a Show-off
20121201-_IGP1571.jpg (Photo credit: Tim Ebbs)
Nobody likes a show-off. It’s great you’re taking advantage of the wealth of resources on Pinterest, but your kid looks a little nuts in his home tie-dyed shirt, standing barefoot in a square of clay, eating a cake with ten rainbow layers, playing in a bowl of pinto beans. He does. Plus, there’s only room for one six-tiered, fondant-covered FROZEN cake at the bake sale. Have you considered volunteering, perhaps?
Get Some Help
I know how that sounds, and if that’s the kind of help you need, by all means, go for it. It’s an hour of quiet in my book. What I’m talking about is help – with cleaning, caring for children, errands, etc…Too often we think we can do more than we actually can. Ask for help, and don’t feel guilty accepting it. I’m still working on this one.
Don’t Dress Your Kids in Zulily
I know what you’re thinking – absurd, right? The stuff on Zulily is so cute! What the hell is she thinking? Well, I’ll tell you: When you dress your kid so damned cute, you raise the bar. When you raise the bar, we have to do laundry. When we do laundry, we get trapped under the pile. When we get trapped under the pile, we start to suffocate. When we start to suffocate, our oldest kid dials 911. When 911 arrives, we’re wearing ripped yoga pants. When we’re rescued from under a pile of laundry by a really hot firefighter in ripped yoga pants, we die of embarrassment. When we die of embarrassment, our kids become orphans. Don’t dress your kids in Zulily.
