(Not my room above — but a fine example)
I got a new bed yesterday — a whole new foundation! A firm mattress and fluffy pillows that gave me a fantastic night’s sleep. New comforter and new sheets that felt crisp and vibrant. I’m feeling fresh this morning and ready to take on every challenge today. Funny what a great slumber can do for the body, mind, and spirit. I think this is what I’ ve been needing for some time.
This new bed is metaphorically and physically what I have needed. No bitterness speaking here, but after a cheating spouse and his moving out, the last thing a woman wants is to continue sleeping in her marriage bed. It adds insult to injury.
My advice to someone that has had a long-time marriage end in a bad way is to begin anew and get a new bed with all the bells and whistles. Once that person walks out the door for the last time, send the dead mattress, the whole burdensome foundation with all of its history out the door by the next garbage day. Sleep in a different room until you can get a new one. (I slept on the couch and in a different bed until now.) Refuse to make yourself feel comfortable to move forward pulling the burden of the old, the disappointing. Out with the old, and wait if you must for the new.
When you are ready, choose your own styles and colors, just for you. You don’t have to justify your choices to anyone. If you’re usually practical and find yourself toning down your personality for the sake of good taste (like me), choose impulsively, even recklessly, and buy louder things that you usually talk yourself out of but keep coming back to. (Mine is in vivid greens with a loud throw pillow planned for each payday until I have all the life I want.) I, for one, will be a bit ostentatious this time, maybe even border on the bizarre. In short, I want it ridiculously rich with all my own choices, color, air, light, and life. I think I may break out the sewing machine to make my own. I am going to embellish and embroider my first initial on everything. I want to walk in my bedroom door at the end of the day and say, “Ah! My beautiful, personal haven — I’ve missed you today!”
Get a new comforter in a bright color, even something a little juvenile if it helps to return your sanity and energy and make you feel young and alive again. It doesn’t have to be expensive or made-to-order. Ordering online and waiting will not have the same effect as making the conscious effort of getting out and loading up your cart. But this is not about money or shopping; it’s about cleaning out the old to make room for the new.
Eventually get around to painting your own personal space the color you always wanted as a girl — forget what works with the rest of the house. (Mine will be butter yellow.) This bedroom is your haven from the rest of the world. If you always loved a certain theme, then go with it, without apology or reservation. You may have been a very young woman who chose a very staid and compromised pallet when you got married, but you might now be a middle-aged woman returning to a hyper-girlish style. That’s fine — whatever makes you feel alive and happy to start and end each day.
(also not my room, but a great example)
And most importantly, lie in the bed you make for yourself. You tried to build a life, but God has other plans. You didn’t quite succeed, but you should remain determined to try each new day from here on out. New bedding is a new beginning. You deserve your fresh start…and fresh sheets. As I am hoping, maybe lying on all this color, all this newness will seep into my spirit by osmosis and bring inward the attitudes of energy, zest, vibrance, youthfulness, and positivity that I have created on the outside. So far, it’s working!
Sleep well with a smile on your face, my friend.
