I’m back on track and everything is great. I think during the week when I’m going a million miles a minute from wake up to sleepy time it’s easier for me to intuitive eat. One of the things that I’ve really noticed a change in is when I see my reflection.
When I look in the mirror, or glance over and see myself I don’t hate what I see. Before I’d constantly scan my body thinking about all the things I needed to change and lately none of that happens.
I’ve also noticed that how I see other people compared to myself is better. I never thought other people looked bad. But I would always compare myself to them. Were my arms bigger or smaller than hers or I wish my legs looked like that in shorts. Normally I always thought I was fatter than people. But lately, I think I’m being more honest with myself. I don’t consider myself fat anymore.
Because I feel so much better about my body I’m wearing more “not fat clothes” and I’m more confident in general. I’m walking the edge of a sword though. Like last weekend I ate more than normal because I wasn’t super busy and all the mental games came back. I need to do a better job of letting things go and not dwelling.
Yesterday I added working out back into my life. I hadn’t worked out in probably a month and a half because working out can become a trigger for all my issues. But I downloaded the Couch to 5K app for my iPhone.
And I started yesterday. Yeah, it was super easy but I’m learning that working out doesn’t always have to be exhaustive. I was most shocked after my workout. After every workout you put in your current weight and based on the GPS calculation of your pace and distance covered it calculates how many calories burned. I thought this workout was so easy it was wimpy. But I burned 220 calories. It was pretty cool to have that realization.
As for now, I’m just doing the Couch to 5K and some light weights twice a week. I’m keeping it light and hopefully I can continue healing with some fitness back on the agenda.
I hope you all can handle my separation from blogging right now. Blogging needs to be a very very small part of my life while I heal from my issues and it can’t be all about food. Right now posting needs to be about this journey not about tracking food. Thank you so much for all your sweet comments. I’m not checking in daily anymore but I am trying to respond to comments when I check in. Thanks so much friends. You are the best!