Sorry for the missed blogs and thank you so much to everyone who e-mailed to make sure that I was doing ok. I am, in fact, great! I had the amazing opportunity to be part of an incredible staff, managing a spectacular group of volunteers at a stellar event, and it was more awesome than I could have imagined (Shout out to the Volunteer and Production and volunteer teams!!) As these things so often go, the hours were long and so I took a few days off blogging to maximize my sleep time.
I’m about to go catch up on my sleep, but I’ve missed you and so I have an oldie but goodie for you today:
My blog was mentioned in a woman’s forum where they were talking positively about my work, which was really nice. But then these seemingly kind-hearted, at least open to the ideas of Health at Every Size and Size Acceptance, women went on an absolute rampage about how other women dress.
I see this all the time in any number of guises, from the blatant “can you believe that she’s wearing that” to the “it’s for her own good that’s just not flattering on her” Let’s look at some examples shall we?
If you’re not blueberry or chocolate chip then I don’t want to see your muffin top.
Well, I’m not blueberry or chocolate chip so go ahead and look somewhere else. (And no points for the play on words..it’s just weak game all around.)
You’ve just got to find clothes that hide your flaws.
I don’t just got to do anything and my body doesn’t have any flaws, it’s perfect the way it is (and if it gets heavier or lighter, it will be perfect then too). I am, in fact, a proud member of the Fuck Flattering Club.
I don’t even want to see thin women wearing tight clothing.
Just. Don’t. Look.
I believe in wearing very modest, figure flattering clothes.
Awesome, rock that shit! Explain again how you think that affects anyone else’s clothing choices?
I just think that big girls should wear dark clothing.
I just think you should bite me.
I’m not hating on fat people but I don’t want to see fat bodies.
You are totally hating on fat people and a disclaimer doesn’t change that. In the South we use “bless her heart” for this purpose and it doesn’t hold water either.
In short, if someone is looking for their beeswax, they are not going to find it in someone else’s closet.
It doesn’t matter how we do it, or what our intentions are, I would ask the we consider that this type of discussion is nothing more than thinly veiled body hate and that we are better than body snarking. So maybe people should dress in whatever way makes them happy and if other people don’t like it then there are a lot of other things to look at, and a lot of other things to talk about…what do you say?
Like this blog? Here’s more cool stuff:
Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. Click here for details
Buy the book: Fat: The Owner’s Manual The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details
Book Me! I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!
Dance Classes: Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details
I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com
A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.). Follow the progress on Facebook!
If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.
