Middleagedmatron
MY BLOGS
-
Adventures of a Middle-Aged Matron
http://adventuresofamiddle-agedmatron.blogspot.co.uk/
In juggling the jobs of vicar's wife, journalist and mother-of-two I blunder through the mysteries of parish and family life.
LATEST ARTICLES ( 102 )
-
Mothering Sunday
'What,' the Vicar asked the assembled children at the Mothering Sunday service, 'does your mother do for you?' 'She cooks us nice meals,' answered one. 'She... Read more
Posted on 10 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Puberty
My ten-year-old can fluently recite lines from a sex chatline. 'Yes, I'm wearing my school uniform, silly!' she simpers, 'And I've finished my oral, although I... Read more
Posted on 06 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Saturday is Caption Day
over at Rocknrollmum. In case any of you were thinking that vicar's wives are purely ornamental I want it known that tremendous skills are demanded of us.... Read more
Posted on 02 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Beating the Blues
I am not a fan of February, not least because I emerge from it a year older than I entered it. The frigid temperatures, which I embrace so eagerly as a proper... Read more
Posted on 26 February 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
How to Save Your Relationship
In olden days there were four customary remedies when you awoke to find that your life's partner no longer inflamed you: divorce court, adultery, counselling... Read more
Posted on 13 February 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
A Brief Guide to Vicarage Life
It can happen to any man. One minute they're running an oil company from a mansion in Mayfair, the next they're living off a clergy stipend on a council estate. Read more
Posted on 10 February 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Hat Tricks
The eight-year-old has acquired a thinking hat. It's a formidable piece of headgear which enables the wearer to unlock cosmic mysteries. Read more
Posted on 06 February 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Transience
Beneath the surface is the prompt for this week's 100 Word Challenge at Julia's Place. This morning I visited an auction room where the harvests from local hous... Read more
Posted on 04 February 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Great Expectations
My children have not turned out how I intended. Yes, I read all the books. I nodded along to features on perfect parenting and honed my prejudices against... Read more
Posted on 31 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Nowness
This picture is the prompt for the latest 100 Word Challenge over at Julia's Place. Now if I were one of those figures on that flimsy protruberance I would be... Read more
Posted on 28 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
A Fast Woman
On Sunday the extreme weather meant I had to find a daring new approach to parish rounds. I'd long suspected that beneath my church hat lurked a Hell's Angel... Read more
Posted on 26 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Marriage Guidance
The secret to surviving middle age, says a survey, is a good marriage, a good breakfast and a puppy. The Vicar and I have spent 13 years-worth of contented... Read more
Posted on 23 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
How to Be a Domestic Goddess
Since Christmas I've felt shiftless. I've peered into the cobwebbed corners of my soul to pinpoint the malaise. True, it's a dismal feeling, after months of... Read more
Posted on 17 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Suffer Little Children
I try to cultivate an air of pious decorum in church. My woolly layers, a vital buffer against the chill of the pew, imply solid respectability. Read more
Posted on 13 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Social Butterfly
I never was one for parties. Higher heels and shorter skirts would enhance my social appetite, my mother told me, but parties surveyed from stilettos seemed to... Read more
Posted on 07 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
An Unnatural Mother
For three days I have been liberated. I had left my handbag at the wrong end of London and so, without a purse, I was spared the exhausting compulsion to traips... Read more
Posted on 03 January 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
A Christmas Tale
A bit of a self-indulgent post, this one, and I'm grateful to anyone who endures to the end of it! Each year, after the Christmas festivities are ended, we stri... Read more
Posted on 20 December 2012 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Round Robin II
Dear [Name to be supplied. Note to Vicar: check your address book for anyone we've left out], Well, would you believe another twelve months has gone by and we... Read more
Posted on 16 December 2012 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Doing What I Want
'You', says my 10 year-old as I march her a mile to school instead of defrosting the Skoda, 'only ever do what you want!' I point out that I only ever do what i... Read more
Posted on 11 December 2012 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Shrinking Horizons
'Why,' asks my 8-year-old, 'does Monday come before Tuesday?' 'Who has the longest toes in the world?' 'Does anyone in the world have no coins, only... Read more
Posted on 07 December 2012 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION