The feeling you get from being out of your comfort zone
You know that feeling of discomfort when you’re anticipating doing something you’ve never done before? You don’t know what to expect, you’re not sure whether you have the skills or the knowledge to succeed and you sure as hell know that things will probably go wrong along the way, and you’ll be judged.
I read an article the other day that defined confidence as simply ‘displayed ability’. In other words, you feel confident when you’ve done something before and have confirmed your ability to be able to do it.
This is why repetition is the best way to feel confident; it’s why the best athletes, musicians and business people train and do the same thing over and over again to reach their peak performance.
It’s also the reason why starting something new can be so daunting – the amount of work that it will take to succeed, the amount of dedication and discipline, can feel overwhelming before you begin. It’s why many people either fail or just don’t start things at all.
What to consider before you make the decision to get started on a new pursuit
There’s three key fundamental elements that must be there before you even think about getting started on a new pursuit. Firstly, you have to be certain that it’s what you want to do. It’s not to say that you won’t steer yourself around obstacles as they arise, and change tack when necessary. It’s more that you need to know that you want the end result so badly, that there’s no other option but to succeed.
The second element that needs to be there is focus. You can’t dedicate yourself to 50 things; rather, the focus must be on few important things that you want to achieve, so that you can give it the effort it requires. So many times in my life, I’ve tried to do way too many things – it’s in my nature – and as a result, nothing happens to the level that I want because it’s impossible to focus on so many things at once. This requires you to choose – not just what you want to do, but also what you’re going to let go of. It’s often harder to let go of what you don’t want than it is to make the decision about what you do want. It’s about prioritising, and it’s a really difficult skill to learn. We’re wired to want to do everything, please everyone. But it is learnable. I’ve written previously about managing multiple deadlines and prioritising effectively here.
Thirdly, you must be prepared to accept difficulties and sometimes failure, and have the strength to learn, pick yourself up and continue regardless. There’s also the trap of comparing yourself with others to be wary of – it can be debilitating. There’s always someone better than you, and someone worse. Run your own race – you’re exactly where you should be.
Why it’s great to be out of your comfort zone
Every time I’ve ever been out of my comfort zone, even when I’ve failed, it’s been a huge period of growth. There’s a balance, of course. It’s not ideal to feel constantly strained and as though you’re going beyond your limitations, because it can produce a high amount of stress. On the other hand, if everything stays the same and you are consistently within your comfort zone, it’s bad too because it can produce boredom and the feeling that you’re not reaching your true potential.
I will give you an example. I’ve recently started 30-degree heat yoga. You can read about it here. For over a year and a half, I put off starting because I thought that it would be difficult, and time consuming, and I was also put off by the fact that I’d have to start at the very beginning. When I started, sure enough, most of the people in the class were full-on ‘yogis’, stretching to their very limits and twisting into handstands, back bends and all sorts of intimidating poses. I was confronted with a decision: I could choose to feel inferior or I could run my own race.
The benefits, of course, far outweigh the negatives and my hesitations were simply excuses. I really wanted to do it: tick. I was prepared to sacrifice other forms of exercise in order to dedicate myself to yoga: tick. So, I did it. Getting started was hard, but maintaining the practice is also difficult. It requires 5.30am starts, and preparing nutrition and water intake around it so that I have the energy and strength to fit it into my day. It means maintaining the discipline of early nights, and washing my yoga gear daily. It means making sure I put my clothes out in the morning so I can get out of the door in time. It also means not missing too many days in a row, as it’s harder to get back into it after a break than it is to continuously practice.
The personal growth I am achieving due to the practice of yoga is worth all of the obstacles and the difficulties that stood – and stand – in my way. The philosophy of yoga supports the practice itself; it’s about knowing and accepting your limitations, and pushing beyond that only when you feel comfortable to do so. It’s about loving yourself and living in the moment. It’s a great bedrock for achieving other things in life.
When have you stepped out of your comfort zone and achieved something great?
