It's not that I have OCD. Well, I'll admit to having a little of it when it comes to packing the dishwasher - but seriously, who intersperses dishes and plates?? That is not the most economical use of space! And I do like to have the cushions just so on the couch - like they've just been tossed there stylishly but not like they've been chucked from the other side of the room Frisbee-style. There's a fine line.
The reason for my excessive enthusiasm for being prepared is my excessive enthusiasm to run. I'm loving it at the moment!
It's been a tough year for my running. It's had to take a back-seat to bigger life issues and I don't resent that at all. I've had to cancel races that were planned and paid for and miss countless running sessions. And I'd do it all again if circumstances dictated. But things have settled down and the sailing has been smoother and all of a sudden running is a joy again.
It is just so wonderful to run without a lump of anxiety in my chest. To be able to see the world wake up in the morning and really appreciate the sights and smells and sounds without being preoccupied with a load of heaviness. To really just be there - fully be there. It's hard to really put into words just how it feels. How it feeds my soul and fills me up.
There have been times this year that I didn't really think it would happen again. That there really was a tunnel and there was no light at the end of it. But, as always, those dark times pass. The black turns to gray and all of a sudden you're seeing little glimpses of light. Eventually there's enough light for you to see all the world in its dazzling colours again.
And I'm appreciating that world with different eyes now. Coming through hard stuff really makes you enjoy the ordinary that much more.
Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment.
The run was every bit as good as I had anticipated.
Maybe some of that was my attitude. Although I can't say my attitude was really great when I dropped my alarm clock on the floor at 3:20 am when I was checking to see how much time I had left to sleep. My clock disgorged its battery so I had to turn on the light and reset it. Effectively I ended up with zero extra minutes of sleep. But my clothes were already out so I really had no excuse but to get out.
It was still a little dark outside but I could see a pink glow through the trees. The colours of the sky alone would have made it a great run but getting 16k done on my favorite route ... Yep, I'm a contented runner today.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get sick of running. Somehow I doubt it.
