This week two stars gave us glowing examples of how to deal with the bullshit that many people think they deserve for doing their jobs well. Let’s start with P!nk. She went to a benefit to raise money for literally curing cancer. As usual people were not able to keep their eye on the ball and had a go at her for her weight. P!nk was not having it, tweeting:
I can see that some of you are concerned about me from your comments about my weight,” You’re referring to the pictures of me from last night’s cancer benefit that I attended to support my dear friend Dr. Maggie DiNome. She was given the Duke Award for her tireless efforts and stellar contributions to the eradication of cancer. But unfortunately, my weight seems much more important to some of you. While I admit that the dress didn’t photograph as well as it did in my kitchen, I will also admit that I felt very pretty. In fact, I feel beautiful.
She went on to tweet
Willow said to me the other day whilst grabbing my belly-“mama-why r u so squishy?”And I said..”b/cuz I’m happy baby”
and
and my hubby says “it’s just more to love baby” (and then I smack his hand off my booty cause we’re in a supermarket)
A number of people in the comments went to the highly problematic “She’s not fat defense“, but I appreciate that P!nk didn’t do that, but did point out how messed up this kind of body shaming is.
Janelle Monáe was even more succinct. When some dude tweeted
“girl stop being so soulful and be sexy..tired of those dumbass suits..you fine but u too damn soulful man.”
Monáe shot back
sit down. I’m not for male consumption.
And that’s the truth of it. Can we please stop pretending that it’s perfectly acceptable to pick apart someone’s appearance just because of the job they happen to have, or that all women – and especially women in the public eye – have some obligation to be attractive to any man who happens to look at them, and that if they aren’t it warrants some kind of public comment? Could we all please consider taking a pass on contributing to a world where women are told early and often that our appearance, as judged by anyone who can manage to create a Twitter account, is more important than anything we could ever accomplish.
While we’re at it, consider this – it is never necessary to comment negatively on another person’s appearance. Ever. IT IS NEVER NECESSARY. Imagine a world where someone supporting the eradication of a deadly disease doesn’t get reported as “She gained weight!” Imagine a world where nobody comments negative on anybody else’s appearance. That world starts with a life where we choose not to say anything negative about anyone else’s appearance. We can literally change the world just by changing the conversation, starting with our own talking and typing. What if you decided that you were done talking negative about other people’s bodies and appearances? What if you started right now…
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