Random Magazine

Your Kid Your Friend

By Alka Narula @narulaalka

my daughter
Raising a child as a parent is not easy and raising a child as a single parent is even tougher,one needs to be protective yet not overbearing.
I would often go to a night club or a bar and be shocked to see girls from 19-29age group standing around the bar and accepting the offer of some random guy to buy them a drink followed by dance and sometimes exchange of numbers or leaving together.The thought of my daughter leaving a night club with some stranger as a a return gift for the free drinks was scary so when my daughter reached the age where clubbing was permissible i made sure everytime  she ventured out she had enough cash to spend on herself.i always gave her freedom to do whatever she wants from short dresses,to drinking to late nights with her friends after she turned 18 (before that there was a curfew) I gave her so much freedom that she wouldnt need to hide anything from me more than a mother i became a friend ,my friends always advised me against it and said you will spoil the girl she will start taking drugs and will be out of your hands,i never listened,as a result of this freedom and this bond i formed with her today shes 25,her friends come home at night as well boys and girls alike and i sit with them all and chat or play a game of ludo, she doesnt drink(she did till the age of 22)but quit on her own completely,she doesnt smoke,parties once a week and at times once a month only with her friends or her boyfriend i know they are all safe because i have interacted enough with them over the years,she is the most loving daughter one can have and if shes ever in any kind of trouble i am the first one she calls.She told me of a friend in college who hooked a guy just so she could be driven around i thanked my good thinking that i gifted her a car when she turned 18 so that she wouldnt need to be dependent or be obligated to some one because he drives her around.
A very close friend of my daughters once had a car accident he wasnt at fault someone was jumping a light at 2am her friend went to the police station to lodge a complain and but harrased by the cops till 7am as the law breaker was an influential person so the tables were turned on my daughters friend.He could not call his parents for help because they had been extremely strict with him and he feared that if he would call his parents for help they will bail him out of the situation but will not believe that he was not at fault.
In todays times with these independent kids and the kind of lifestyle thats offered in metropolitans,the kind of crowd you have in schools,the exposure these kids get it is not possible to control either the kids or the exposure and lifestyle but i believe if you are too strict with your kids they will do things behind your back and theres nothing you can do about it nor can you advise them when they go wrong in life.i am a proud mother and nothing feels better than hearing shes a very well groomed child,even the friends who advised against the freedom i gave my daughter today admire her for the girl she has turned out to be.Everyone has the right to disagree but i am proud of the girl i have raised.

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