Cosmo: What do you get for the man who has everything? How about a chocolate version of your butthole! Now, of course Edible Anus chocolates aren’t modeled after your specific anus (if you want something like that, you could always get your anus bronzed), but they may as well be, because who could tell the difference?
Sure, you could just get him a regular box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, but would that remind him of how he should probably make a point to eat your ass* some time tonight? Probably not. So this year, give the gift of “Yep. This is seriously a butthole that tastes like candy and when it melts looks like poop.“
No doubt Lena Dumham (I was raped by a republican) has this on her list for her boyfriend.
I’ll stick with a more romantic option:
DCG
*To each their own. Butt, there are some serious consequences to fecal-oral transmission!
