I'm not sure why I feel at my whiniest on Wednesday. Could be that it's hump day. Could be that I just like alliteration and whingey, whiney Thursday just wouldn't cut it.
Sorry for that brief digression. I know you're all champing at the bit to know what I'm whining about this time. It's not about running. It's about something that we all can relate to - public toilets.
A lot of people have a fear of using public toilets. In fact so many people that it has its own name - parcopresis. I do not have this particular phobia. I'm quite happy to use the women's, the men's or the bush if that's all that's available to me. I actually quite like public restrooms with their free water and their free paper towels or hot air and the fact that I don't actually have to clean out the toilet bowl myself makes using public toilets a winner.
Two of my local shopping centres have recently undergone multi-million dollar transformations to make our shopping experience more special and exciting and fun - if the pictures on their advertising are anything to go by. Personally I've found my shopping experience since the upgrades pretty much the same but maybe I'm just not entering into the spirit of things. Actually, in one very important respect I've found the upgrade not to my taste. And that aspect is the restroom facilities.
Sure they look so much fancier now. They look clean and sanitised and sparkly and new but they have two significant drawbacks that make my once-pleasant toilet experience something that haunts me in my bad dreams.
The first is the lighting. Did you know that harsh fluorescent downlights can make your skin look like and eighty year old's? Wrinkly. Sagging. Cellulity. I swear it doesn't look that bad in natural light. Or maybe it does and I'm just delusional. But I have Googled plastic surgeons and full body lifts while I've been sitting there doing what I've got to do.
The second is the shape of the toiler seat. Who decided that rectangular seats were appropriate for roundish bottoms? Talk about round peg in a square hole! And my backside isn't even that generous. I'd hate to think how uncomfortable it is for the more generously proportioned amongst us. And judging by what I've seen in the food court, there's a lot of generously proportioned out there.
I'm not sure what the brain's trust was thinking when they made those two decisions. Maybe they just want to discourage patrons from spending an inordinate amount of time on the throne when they could be shopping. Maybe they want to discourage them from using the facilities at all. Or maybe they managed to get all those rectangular toilets cheap when the manufacturers realised that they were a bad idea. Personally I'm leaning towards the 'not using the facilities at all' unless absolutely desperate.
Looks like I'll be spending my pennies at home and my toilet brush will be getting a more regular workout.
I can't finish this post on such a negative note. So, acceding to requests from Jim, here are some puppy pictures.
Note that this is my seat
Photo credit - 'My Name is Jeff' Photography
And the cake's to take any of the sour taste of my whining out of your mouth.
