It is 8 AM; the alarm is going off after my third snooze. My whole body aches as if I just ran a marathon. My head is pounding like someone is hitting a hammer in between my temples. My eyes struggle to open, as if there are weights on my eyelids forcing me back to sleep. My throat is dry as Vegas feels during the summer months. Feels like the hangover monster strikes again – how does that fucker always manage to creep on me? I have to be up and out of the house in just a couple hours to begin my fifteen hour day. All I can think as I lie there, dreading the sunlight peeking through my windows into my closed eyelids: this fucking sucks.
I had enjoyed quite the night. Getting dressed all slutty to go dancing, drinking, dancing in a sexy white girl (which really isn’t sexy at all) way, drinking, teasing boys that never had a chance, drinking, drunkenly searching for food since we shut the club down, and falling into bed at 4:30 AM knowing in just a few short hours my misery awaited me.
Yeah, I am admitting it. I had known better. I knew I was going to feel like I’d been bulldozed by the booze monster and I did it anyway. In my defense, how many times have you turned down a good time in honor of responsibility? If you’re even a smidge like me, that’s why you’re reading this blog; therefore, I have the scientific authority to assume you have or will think along the same lines.
So for those idiotic enough to commit the same physical harm to your liver and body, here’s a little guide for you. You’ve hit a gold mine, a guide to successful irresponsible drinking and how to still make it through the day on lack of sleep, nausea, and a pounding headache. Cherish these next few facts that I’ve collected through much research of irresponsible, excessive drinking.
- Prepare yourself the day before, mentally. Accept that you are going to feel tired, achy, and overall useless. It helps the hangover feel like less of a shock.
- Plan your energy drinks accordingly. This one is a little more complicated. Pick the energy drink that works best for you, drink it before the rush so it kicks in at the right time, and do not drink so many that the crash makes you feel even worse than you did prior to the drink.
- Use your carelessness due to lack of good health to your advantage – be willing to take risks with your tables that would normally make you nervous (don’t worry, there will be a whole blog dedicated to using apathy as a tool). After all, if something goes wrong you can just blame it on being hung over, not because you’re bad at your job.
- Always keep hydrated and fed appropriately, the more you take care of yourself the better you’ll feel. Bring a water bottle and snacks in your bag/car for break times or your ten – keep hydrated to soothe the headache and/or nausea and the food to maintain energy for the day.
- Take a small dose of Ibuprofen to cure the headache in order to stay focused. Multi-tasking is a hard thing to do with a loud drum in your head.
- Stay focused. Your biggest battle to be fought is going to be not focusing on how tired you are. Mind over matter. You may feel crappy, but you don’t have to think about how awful you feel. Because thinking it only intensifies the feeling of misery.
If none of the above work for you, you need to apply the How drunk should I get? question to your planned/unplanned activities. If you are consistently giving yourself hangovers so bad you can’t function, your problems are bigger than how to get through a day hung over while working (see rehab, counseling, or friends & family for intervention). Otherwise, you’re welcome for the success to your next hung over day!
