Many people teach us to ignore our pain.
To suck it up.
To deal with it silently.
To tolerate it.
Or, to deny it.
Worst of all, society often teaches us that pain is normal.
That struggle is just part of life.
That pain is inevitable.
Part of growing up.
Part of being an adult.
Many believe pain is an expectation when it comes to our work.
After all, nobody really likes their job…
That’s why it’s called WORK
Everyone hates Mondays
We’re all working for the weekend
Retirement is only ___ years away
Everybody has to pay their dues
Because, money doesn’t grow on trees, ya know
So, don’t be so sensitive
Toughen up
Life is hard.
Work is harder.
Got it?
That’s what happy hour is for.
And Netflix. And shopping. And all our other distractions.
And, certainly don’t waste time dreaming or believing that you’ll ever get to a life without drama, and pain, and struggle. (If you believe that, you’re living in a fantasy land, and you need a big dose of reality).
So, we’re all left holding our breath waiting for that other shoe to drop.
My only guess is that we do this to each other (to our friends, to our family, to our children) because we want them to be prepared for the worst. We want them to be strong and smart and ready for anything life throws at them.
But, tolerating pain, pushing it down, expecting the worst… it’s not only a waste of time, but a serious detriment to a good life.
Frankly, I’d rather see someone shout from the rooftops about what’s going wrong in their life than stuff it down.
In my eyes, it’s far better to whine and complain than pretend everything’s okay when it isn’t.
Because whining and complaining feels like a first step.
The reason some folks get stuck on this first step, wallowing in their misery, complaining to everyone who has a free moment, suffocating those around them with their frustration, is because they’ve convinced themselves that they can’t escape their pain.
And, if you can’t escape… if what you’re experiencing is deemed “normal” and “to be expected”… what else is there to do but complain?
The most successful among us are highly sensitive to pain. Their tolerance is low. They feel everything.
Even if they don’t show it on the outside… on the inside, they whine.
They complain, even if it’s just for a second, even if it’s in the privacy of their own thoughts.
They notice when things aren’t right.
They feel when things could be even marginally better.
They pay special attention to their pain and discomfort.
And, the moment they’ve acknowledged and understood that pain, they take the next step. They make a plan to fix it.
Because, pain should not be normal.
Hating your job should not be normal.
Only enjoying your days once you reach retirement… that should certainly not be normal.
Those are problems to be felt and then fixed.
The first step to getting what you want is being honest about what you don’t want.
So, I officially give you permission to whine.
Please don’t put on a brave face.
Please don’t fall into the trap of settling for less.
Please don’t suck it up.
Please don’t tolerate it.
Feel everything, the good and the bad.
Feel it deep in your bones.
Understand exactly what you love, and exactly what you hate.
And, then vow to do something about it.
Maybe we should all try to whine a little more.
Maybe being a whiner is actually the very first step to being a winner.
