A Hindu sage walked with his disciples to the shores of the Ganges where he saw a family shouting in anger at each other.The sage turned to his disciples, smiled and asked "Why do we shout in anger?"
The disciples thought for a moment and one answered "When we lose our calm we shout."
The sage then asked "But why should we shout when we are so close to each other and could just as easily speak at a normal volume and still be heard?"
The disciples kept trying to adequately answer their master but none succeeded.
Then the sage answered them saying "When people are angry with one another their hearts are at a great distance so they must should to hear and be heard. But when two people are in love they whisper or speak calmly because the distance between their hearts is small or non-existent."
In love, people are never closer but in anger or contempt they are never more distant.
Hate, is has been said, is like swallowing poison and expecting the person you hate to die. Or it is like throwing hot coals from a fire at your opponent, in that you are the only one who is burned.
Jesus had a melt down in the temple.
But Him getting angry over the Temple being defiled is not the same justification for what makes most of us angry most of the time. I think for most people they are never angrier than when they feel their anger is justified.
Because they feel righteous indignation, they wont listen to others pleas to calm down and listen. No they want to be heard without listening.
Anger, along with a myriad of other emotions is perfectly natural but there needs to be a balance. If you want to be heard, try listening not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Life is a balance of letting go and hanging on.
We must let go of the negative and hold on to the positive. The unhealthiest of people and relationships hold on to the negative and negate the positive.
In a fight couples who show humor, express affection and concede points their partner makes, heal the rift between one another but couples who show contempt, roll their eyes, act defensively and tune out are making things worse because these unhealthy tactics lead to a toxic relationship.
This is true for any relationship father/son, husband/wife, friend and best friend all relationships.
Take the time to listen to those you are angry with, hear them and they will likely hear you. Remember that anger is a secondary emotion meaning that it is a reaction you have to a primary emotion that was initially triggered for whatever reason.
It's up to you to search your feelings for what the reason you became angry was, to find what that primary emotion than started it really was.
Rather than yelling or shouting to make your point across the distance between your heart and another, listen and concede and do what you can, worry only about what you can control and handle that. Try to close the distance between hearts.
Anger happens, but closure and healing is crucial to have so that the toxicity of anger does not take over.
