Society Magazine

Why Dudes Don’t Greet Dudes

Posted on the 07 November 2014 by Brute Reason @sondosia

My newest Daily Dot piece is about #DudesGreetingDudes.

After that NYC catcalling video went viral online, some men (not all men!) were upset, not because they were trying to defend their right to shout “nice tits” at a random woman, but because even non-sexual comments were being defined as harassment. For instance, Michael Che, co-host of Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, wrote on Facebook, “I want to apologize to all the women I’ve harassed with statements like ‘hi’ or ‘have a nice day.’”

In response to comments like these, This Week in Blackness CEO Elon James White created a hashtag called #DudesGreetingDudes:

Im so confused as to why dudes are complaining about not being able to say hi to women. Go say hi to other dudes if you need to so bad.

— Elon James White (@elonjames) October 29, 2014

“I’m just saying. I’m a nice guy. I just want to say HI. And you’re going to accept this greeting whether you fucking like it or not.”

— Elon James White (@elonjames) November 2, 2014

Dudes. If you feel society has lost it’s decency, let’s bring it back. Let’s start the #DudesGreetingDudes movement! Say hi to each other!

— Elon James White (@elonjames) November 2, 2014

You see a dude in a nice suit, just roll up on him like “Damn. You wearing that suit. Hmm Hmm!” #DudesGreetingDudes

— Elon James White (@elonjames) November 2, 2014

Bro, ni hao, ni hao! Where you from? China, right? I went to China once. You wanna get Chinese food sometime? #DudesGreetingDudes

— Jane C. Hu (@jane_c_hu) November 6, 2014

“Dude you look so lonely! You waiting for your girlfriend or what? You’re too handsome to not have a girl, brah” #DudesGreetingDudes

— LachyB (@lachyb) November 6, 2014

*high-fives stranger* Damn, nice aim. You must play a lot of Halo, because you’re obviously an angel. #DudesGreetingDudes

— Sam Killermann (@Killermann) November 4, 2014

The #DudesGreetingDudes tweets are hilarious because they’re ridiculous. After all, everyone knows men would never actually talk to each other like that.

But why wouldn’t they?

The common explanation is that street harassment—yes, including the “nice,” non-explicitly sexual kind—is ultimately about asserting male dominance over women, forcing them to give men their time and attention. It wouldn’t make sense for a man to infringe on another man’s mental and physical space in that way.

But I think there’s also a little more going on here, and it has to do with the ways in which men are socialized to view women not only as sexual objects, but as their sole outlet for companionship, support, and affirmation. They’re socialized to view women as caretakers and entertainers, too.

Read the rest here.


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