A friend of mine posted this picture on Facebook and got a flurry of comments rolling. Her comment went a little like this:
I’m self motivated, a self starter and not too girly that I cant get dirty if I have too. To men, this translates to you don’t need me, you don’t make me feel needed because you don’t ask me for anything or for help. No I’m not a needy person but that does not mean I cant or wont accept help. A good secure man would politely tell me to sit my ass down because he’s got this with no problem.
I think some women got this kinda wrong. Men shouldn’t have to force their way into our world. It should be a little more organic than that. I am just as independent as this friend. I am definitely a self starter and can handle most situations on my own. But asking for help is important and I will do that freely when I’m comfortable enough. We are supposed to depend on each other. It’s not easy for me to do and I often wait a very long time before I ask for help but if I see no way out on my own, I will open my mouth and make my needs known. No woman, man or child gets anywhere in life without some help. It’s really ok.
She says that a secure man would politely tell her to sit down cause he’s got this. You know what I think?? I think that when men do this we (women) accuse them of being too forceful, too macho, to overbearing, etc. We turn the tables on them and say ‘you think I don’t know what I’m doing?’. If I were a man I wouldn’t force my help on her either. Offering to help sometimes is better than ‘sit down woman. I got this’. I feel like women respond better to questions like “what can I do to help you?’ or “Do you need anything?” This is help without force
I need men to help me once in awhile. Save me, please!! Rescue me from this situation!! I’m not ashamed to say that. It’s a part of life. Some things are just too heavy for me to carry. Women get on my everlasting nerves some days and I often find myself seeking a male perspective because it just balances things out. Men think and act differently than we do and personally I’m glad they do. I’ll be honest. Plus that hero quality in a man is kinda hot. A man that cannot help me is boring and will be cut out of my life eventually. What’s the point of our connection? I can do bad and good all by myself.
This also goes both ways. Women need to feel needed as well. Personally I feel that if there is no place for me and I’m just an after thought in a man’s world, I will move on. No sense in hanging around waiting to be called off the bench.
Unfortunately, some of us gals are wired this way. Rigid in our belief that we really don’t need men. And they get the message and move on to a woman that makes them feel needed which leaves the “independent” woman wondering why they can’t find a companion. And the war between Mars and Venus rages on.
Peace!!!
