"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." ~ Theodore Isaac Rubin
The fool (me) left for Santa Fe on July 24 to find a house.
It is a good thing that I had on my rose colored glasses and my dancing shoes. As a result of that blind optimism, I had many miraculous adventures in the interim.
I looked at ten houses over July 25 - 27. After an all day slog on Saturday July 25 seeing some real sh*tshacks and dog houses, I despaired. I wondered what on earth I would end up with. I didn't want a house that smelled of cigars, or one that was decorated in 1967, or one that had a cement slab for a front yard and a cadre of termites doing a samba under the floor.
I fell in a heap on my bed when we got home, totally demoralized.
However, my Buddha bud, Lea, helped me refresh my resolve. We prayed the next morning and took another run at the issue while navigating Spanish Market and Canyon Road.
My first tip? Never Give Up.
I knew that I would recognize 'home' when I saw it. I knew how I wanted to feel when I crossed the threshold.
I contacted my lender to see if I could get just a touch more to work with in terms of pricing. We went up 5K. I contacted another realtor and went out to look at one final house on Monday prior to leaving Santa Fe for Taos and the rest of the northern leg of the trip.
If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me. ~ Angelina Jolie
Finding Eden
When I saw the house -- my house -- as we turned the corner, I sat up. We parked. As I got out and pushed the front gate open, I started to weep. The yard, sprinkled with rows of lavender and sunflowers, daisies and wild grasses, shone with light. An apple tree sat in the front corner of the lot. Deep green accents and windows on the front of a pueblo style house with a flat roof, faced the street. All I heard was birdsong.
As I walked through the front door, I said, "Oh, my, god. OMIGOD."
The whole place was full of light.
A window in the kitchen looked out on a small patio surrounded by tall sunflowers. Iris lined the flagstone walkway into the backyard. There I found more trees, space for a huge vegetable garden, a compost area, an outdoor clothes line, and another sitting area.
It has three bedrooms, two baths. One room for me. One for my mom. One for an office. French doors from the back bedroom open onto the yard, which felt like a sanctuary.
Suddenly, I saw myself standing in the middle of the yard, as light swirled around me, up and up, in a whirlwind of color.
I saw myself living there in the years ahead. I knew I'd found home.
No one believed I could find a house in a weekend, except me.
I made an offer on that glorious house the same day. My realtor and I wrote the contract over the phone as Lea and I drove to Taos.
I signed it in a tree house there, that'd been converted to a Bed and Breakfast. At the behest of the seller's realtor, I wrote the owner a tear-stained letter explaining why I loved her beautiful house.
I prayed to get my offer accepted, all day Tuesday and all day Wednesday.
I sat by the Silver River in Farmington, NM and watched light move across the sky from early morning until late evening. My friend left me there with my prayer beads in my hand, and I prayed earnestly and continuously for the current owner of the house. I prayed for her happiness.
I prayed that she'd accept my offer of $10K less than asking price because it was all I had.
On July 29, just as my dreams had predicted, she 'accepted my offer.' I was notified the next morning as Lea and I drove to Chinle, AZ to see Canyon de Chelly, on our last stop of the 'change your life' tour.
This week's been a whirlwind of paperwork, earnest money, inspections, insurance, letters, texts, phone calls, and still more paperwork.
Every day I look at photos of the place I'll call home in just a few weeks and I feel dizzy with joy (if slightly terrified, too).
Don't worry. It's all good.
Ever since April of this year when I started to actively envision the sort of house I wanted to have, I've nurtured and encouraged this hopeful seedling inside. This house has been taking root in me all summer.
Yes, only a fool thinks they can get a miracle in one weekend in Santa Fe, with little money, and less common sense. I am so glad I didn't know it was 'impossible.'
(BTW, nothing is impossible.)
In fact, I made it possible with my belief.
Special thanks to Lea, my Buddhist district, Jon (who gifted us with money for gas), and my mom who supported this big, big dream. Thanks also to all those of you who've followed my adventures in Wonderland. I could feel you rooting for me on Facebook and elsewhere.
It's happening!
It's really happening. I can't wait to see what's next.
© 2015 Shavawn M. Berry All rights reserved
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