I like to think of myself as a kind critic. I’ve been on the pointy end enough to know how it feels when those who don’t like my work are unkind. I’ll try to find a nice way of saying Witches of Amityville, or Witches of Amityville Academy, must’ve been shot on a very modest budget. It must’ve been written by someone who’s still working hard to master the craft. And the actors are continuing to improve as the director gets better at that role. Why did I watch it? Amazon Prime gives it four stars. The incongruity of Amityville and witches suggested it might be a bad movie, and in that regard it did not disappoint. So what’s going on here?
There’s a witch academy in Amityville. Although all the cars have steering wheels on the right, everyone speaks with American accents, apart from a couple of characters. The interior shots, however, are also pretty British for the most part. There does seem to be some awareness that Amityville is in the new world. In any case, said academy is run by an evil coven that is seeking to release the demon Botis. To do so they have to sacrifice college-age women (and no, it’s not that kind of movie). One of their intended sacrifices escapes and is found by three white witch sisters who also live in Amityville. They decide to train this young woman who, as it turns out, is a very powerful witch. Problem is, the director of the academy can’t release the demon without sacrificing this particular victim. So she kidnaps her back. The three good witches burst on the scene, actually more like just walk on, and prevent the sacrifice. The bad witch kills herself and releases the demon, but the young witch is so powerful that she destroys him. In the end the witches must go to Salem.
What’s not to like? Some of us, day by day, year by year, work to improve our writing skills. We write stories that incorporate whatever ability we’ve managed to scrape together. And we struggle to find publishers. I like bad movies because they are a great place to find hope. The world’s a big place. Even the entertainment industry is large enough to absorb movies produced by Amazon, Hulu, and Netflix, among others, including the big studios. They’ve got to be looking for content, right? Those of us who channel our creativity towards writing, and who keep trying to get it published, have a chance, don’t we? What’s the harm in believing in the power of magic?
