Debate Magazine

Whatever You Do, Don’t Talk to My Parrot

By Eowyn @DrEowyn

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working.

So she called the plumber and made an appointment for the next day.

Since Wanda would be at work, she told the plumber, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, talk to my parrot! I must stress to you, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the plumber arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen.


But, just as Wander had said, Spike just lay there on the carpet, calmly watching the plumber go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant screams, ear-splitting screeches, curses, and *#Ψ[email protected]! F-bombs.

Finally the plumber couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “SHUT UP! You stupid, ugly bird!!!!!!!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”


Whatever you do, don’t talk to my parrot


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