Culture Magazine

What is Jason X Really About?

By Newguy

What is Jason X Really About?jason x

This is a tongue in cheek look at the film that will be spoiler filled.

Jason X is the tenth in the series because Jason NEVER DIES. Or the studio is always in need on money.


Crystal Lake Research Facility, sounds a lot like Umbrella because when did they build a fancy building on a lake?


How did they catch Jason?

what did you do

Why is Jason only chained up in the middle of a room with only one guard?


Jason is ugly cliché.


David Cronenberg is only starring in this movie.


David Cronenberg is asked why he is there, if only it was to direct the film.


This has gone all Alien on us with the villain being set up to be a scientific breakthrough that needs studying.


Jason sneaks up on armed guard in empty room.


Also why has one of the guards got an animal catching noose?


How did Jason get behind her with only one exit in room?


Trap set, let’s make Jason Mr Freeze.


Jason gets final blow.

final blow

I’ve Been to the year 2455 a lot has changed and we don’t live on Earth anymore.


Open the freezer, Ice to see Ya, ok we are going to have a lot of Mr Freeze references here.

cill 2

Don’t touch anything cliché only to go and touch it.


Arm cut off, will be glued back on later.

fix thing

Earth is destroyed, does this make this film a post-apocalyptic movie?

is this a

Prepare for Return.


Can fix nearly any medical injury with Nano ants.

fix thing

Lots of random sex because slasher film.


Time to Break the Ice, best kill in the film.

ice breaking

We are going to Earth 2 because we couldn’t think of an original name.

oroginal idea

We are on locked down because Jason isn’t dead.


Peter Mensah is a discount Tony Todd.

tony todd

Terrible virtual reality game looks more outdated than anything in modern video games.

virtual reality

Greed is still important in this time.


BFG reference but this isn’t Doom but might be a better movie.


Shoot Jason with nearly every bullet, body vanishes.

missing body

Jason goes all solid snake with stealth skills.


He is screwed, worst pun of the film.


But seriously what do they use these size screws for?

what is this for

The term Gecko in a movie with a character that regenerates.


Doesn’t follow orders cliché.

follow orderrs

Military all dead, because we need our plucky heroes to save the day.

all dead

Destroy the space based, this gives Jason his biggest kill count to date.

new record

We must go back.

go back

This set feels like an old school Star Trek set.

star trek

We are going to be safe, NOPE cliché.

nope 2

Stick your head out and have a peek, some of these lines are great.

head out the window

Surprise Mother Fuckers.

surprise party

Deal with the devil, oh Machete will seal the deal.


Star Trek reference with Beaming Us Off the ship.

beam me up

Creepy kiss with robot.

creepy kiss

Jason redecorated.


Microsoft conflict, I want to know more like was there any Apples there.

microsft conflict

Janessa is my favorite character.

favourite character

Upgrade Number One.

upgrad 1

Smartest way to kill Jason in any Friday the 13th film.


Upgrade Number 2. Jason’s Turn.


Let’s blow this ship up to survive.

lets blow this

You need to run.


Detonate sacrifice.


We are finally ok Cliché, Nope.

nope 1

While being sucked out of a vent, ‘This sucks on so many levels’ and don’t let go like do you think it would be a good idea.

this sucks

EVA spacewalk not known by someone from our time period, are you sure?

you didnt know

Diversion while diverting power.


Was that you or me, just makes me laugh.

you or me

Jason is back at Crystal Lake.

jason is home



Typical 80s teenagers.




Fuck psychics, you gotta be kidding me.


Surfing through the atmosphere because well science doesn’t exist anymore.


Sequel potential LOL.


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog