Miley embraced her armpit hair and so have I.
I recently decided to conduct an experiment. I decided to stop shaving my armpits to see if the seemingly insignificant factor of visible body hair would cause people to treat me differently — especially guys.
Shaving has long been part of my attempt to seek a sense of control over the way I look. Shaving was part of a routine that included plucking my eyebrows, putting on perfume, wearing a nice outfit, and maybe dabbing on some lipstick. I felt I needed to do this out of my desire to feel more socially powerful and worthy.
Additionally, before this experiment I felt I could only hook up with guys if I had shaved. There had been one exception: I once hooked up with someone when I had slightly unshaven armpits. It was a great fling and my unsightly hair wasn’t acknowledged. Looking back, I doubt he noticed (or cared) but at the time it caused me a lot of anxiety. I assumed he was grossed out but decided to hang in there for the V.
Refusing to shave seems like it should be easy, but I’ve been surprised by how hard it’s been. In fact, the first time I tried to grow out my armpit hair, I lasted about a month. Then I accidentally shaved one pit and quickly shaved the other one with relief. Soon after, however, I felt ashamed for giving in. That was 8 months ago, and I haven’t sheared my pits since, although I’ve had strong urges to do so, especially before anxiety-conjuring social events. It’s amazing how deeply ingrained the need to remove this hair is, how abnormal it feels to expose it when boys think nothing of theirs.
Giving the razor an extended break, though, has allowed me to be honest with myself. Shaving my armpits was tedious and prickly and sometimes painful. It was never something I actually did for myself, but rather something that made me feel more socially acceptable. But the more I forced myself to abstain, the more I realized that exposing my armpit hair would not cause the world to explode. Only once did I indirectly hear that a boy had made a negative comment, but when I talked to him he adamantly denied it. Instead of taking it personally, I realized it’s easy to make yourself feel powerful by putting down someone else’s looks. What’s more, I have even gotten compliments.
Despite this self discovery, though, for a while I still couldn’t help but feel like I was a little less attractive to guys. That changed this summer when I had a really enjoyable sexual experience with a friend — hairy armpits and all. After fighting my self consciousness for months, it turned out my partner actually liked my armpit hair. He didn’t ignore it or tolerate it, but was actually into it.
Now, I love my armpits. Not shaving feels right for me and, most importantly, I’m proud of myself for committing to the choice. Even though it’s been hard, I truly think it’s paid off and would encourage other young women to do the same. Question conventions — whether beauty related or not — and ultimately do what feels best for you.
