She sat down and when the choir finished they rushed to attend to her. A nurse who also sings in her choir checked her for stroke symptoms. I went to get my car and then I heard the sirens from an ambulance and fire engine and I knew 911 had been called for her.
The EMTs told me which hospital they were taking her to and I told my wife I would meet her there. I drove over but don't remember the drive. I remember parking my car and going to the front desk. The told me to check with the ER.
The admin told me she had been there two minutes which means I beat them to the hospital.
I stayed with my wife while the stroke team assessed her. Then the took her in for an MRI.
I waited for two hours. I was losing it. I've never cried so hard in my life, I thought she might die. I called our oldest to let her know and asked her to call her sisters I didn't want to break down and cry while talking to them but I just couldn't be as strong for them as I needed to be.
I was in constant prayer in between crying fits. I was allowed back in to see my wife and I stayed with her until they discharged her at about 1am.
I feel like I failed our kids by not holding myself down and being stronger when I they needed me to be.
When I thought my wife might die I fell apart. My world fell apart. How was I going to take care of the youngest two without her? Could I? I didn't see how I could.
I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. My wife was terrified and wasn't sure what was going on. The doctor came in to say what my wife had suffered was a sudden onset complex migraine which mimicked a stroke. She would be fine but needs to be seen by a neurologist for treatment.
I'm still shaky after this episode but I am calm and my faith in God has helped me maintain but knowing my wife is ok is key.
For the sake of our kids I need to be strong for them even when the world around us is falling apart down around us. And I realize part of what scared me so much is that I was weak when I needed to be strong. That is the most important thing I can do for these kids.
Too many burdens and responsibilities have been placed on my wife, she is the rock our family has been built on. I need to shoulder more of that responsibility.
I need to be prepared to provide the calm in the storm. My wife is ok and I now know what I need to work on. So I must do it so that the next time this happens, or when something worse happens I can be the rock my wife always has been.
Job lost everything and I understand what that looks like. But he never cursed God through all his trials and neither did I but I did feel forsaken but I wasn't my family wasn't and neither was my wife.
So I feel some comfort in knowing that the second my world fell apart I didn't curse God for having to bear the brunt of tragedy in my life, tragedy that befalls others everyday.
I don't have a liahona, I have my amazing wife. But for my family's sake I need one of my own. I need to provide them sanctuary from the storm so that they have a decent chance to wheather it.
