Debate Magazine

We Have a Winner!

By Eowyn @DrEowyn

. . . for the 63rd FOTM Caption Contest!

The FOTM writers had voted, each for his/her #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; every #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the clear winner of the 63rd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, with five #1 votes, totaling 15 points, is . . . .

Sig94!!!!!

Here’s his winning caption (below pic, in green italics):

O tapestry US Embassy in London

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over the election of that son of a socialist whore—
While I nodded, there came a knocking, so loud that it was shocking
As if it were the Gestapo, knocking at my chamber door—
“‘Tis the DHS goons,” I muttered, “knocking at my chamber door—
No search warrant, I expected nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was two years ago November;
When the scheme of union members wrested the Treasury from our control.
And the Wall Streeters did chortle thinking that the dollars were immortal—
And the greens proclaimed that energy could no longer be generated from coal’
While millions more clamored to go on the public dole;
And the economy started circling the bowl.

Congress acts like drunken surgeons, while our national debt burgeons
And I fear for my Country as I never feared before.
Because now an unholy presence filled with loathing and preternatural menace
Has ensconced itself and mocks us from the British Embassy wall—
And it demands acquiescence as soon as a visitor walks through the door;
Quoth the portrait – “The Constitution? Nevermore!”

The Embassy Portrait shows him beaming, our evil President is scheming
On the ways to reduce our nation to poverty and divisive civil war;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a heathen who is dreaming,
Praying for Allah’s aid in leaning our culture to Sharia law;
And my Christian soul doth shudder at the words our Lord might utter
That sinful America maybe –nevermore!

Supajohnny is our 2nd place runner-up, with two #1 votes, totaling 6 points. Here’s his caption:

“I have this evil feeling in the back of my neck”

Another caption by Sig94 is in 3rd place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 5 points. Here’s the caption:

With threads dyed in the tears of the damned then woven artfully by liars and thieves, the Portrait of Perfidy mocks those who wait to worship at the Altar of Dependency.

Wrongheifer and tnrick are both in 4th place, each with two #2 votes, totaling 4 points each. Here are their respective captions:

My!… what Big Teeth you have!

“Pay no attention to the man on the curtain”

Bob Winslow, CalGirl, and another Sig94 caption are all in 5th place, each with one #2 vote, totaling 2 points each. Here are their respective captions:

If you like your Embassy, you can keep your Embassy.

As the year comes to a close, the seventeen who signed up for Obamacare converged upon an Embassy Row gala to toast their benefactor. The evening ended with the joyful announcement that the lotto lineup for hip replacement surgery could begin immediately instead of January 2, 2014—subject to circumstance and daily Ececutive wafflings, of course. And a good time was had by all.

As two more policies are eliminated in the latest round of “Musical HealthCare,” Ronald Pfitzer and Hermione Gobstacker find themselves without insurance while the rest of the seated players nervously await the next tune to be played. Once the music starts again in the next round., three more chairs/policies will be eliminated.

Congratulations, Sig94!!!

Here’s your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

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award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, click here.

Seen any good pics that’ll be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us!

[email protected]

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting Caption Contest! :D

~Eowyn


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