The Pumping Mama



  • Being Gentle Is Paying Off

    Being Gentle Paying

    In times of hardcore, full on, screaming, thrashing tantrum (Moo, not myself), or when a poo hits the deck for the fifth day in a row, or when there’s... Read more

    Posted on 02 October 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Hello? Is Anybody Out There?

    Hello? Anybody There?

    *TRIGGER WARNING – SUICIDE* I’m desperately unhappy. When I was suicidal a few months ago the Crisis/Home Treatment Team (HTT) and Community Mental Health Team... Read more

    Posted on 24 September 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • It’s Not Me, It’s You. Wait, What?!

    It’s You. Wait, What?!

    I’m ridiculously over sensitive. Which, in turn, makes me completely unreasonable. I feel that every single person should consider my feelings ALL THE TIME. Read more

    Posted on 12 September 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Preschool


    My child is starting preschool. This isn’t just pissing about at home anymore; this is real life, structured, serious parenthood shit. There’ll be schedules... Read more

    Posted on 31 August 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Do You Like Your Home?

    Like Your Home?

    I imagine many of you chose your property carefully, whether it be rental or bought. Was it the character features? The wide, spacious, open plan living? The... Read more

    Posted on 05 August 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Moo Turns Three

    Turns Three

    It doesn’t feel like too far back I was typing up the title ‘Moo Turns Two‘, but that’s how it goes with this child rearing thing. Every day is fleeting, and ye... Read more

    Posted on 20 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Normality Is Terrifying

    Normality Terrifying

    Good grief, I can feel the anxiety rising as I write this, but I may as well put it out there with everything else. Honesty and authenticity is important to me. Read more

    Posted on 18 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Heart: 1 Brain: 0

    Heart: Brain:

    I’ve just had a breakthrough, a glimmer of something hopeful. I need to hold onto it as tight as I can and not let go. This episode of depression is battering m... Read more

    Posted on 17 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Hold On Pain Ends?

    Hold Pain Ends?

    *TRIGGER WARNING – SUICIDE* HOPE. Something I had very little of yesterday, as my husband frantically tried to get me some help. Read more

    Posted on 15 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Enough


    I’ve had enough of being mental. I. HAVE. HAD. E. FUCKING. NOUGH. Someone, get me out of here, for fuck sake. I’m laid here, thinking about the 60 years of... Read more

    Posted on 14 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • A Day In The Life Of A Nut Job


    Wake up. What the fuck? Struggle to open eyes. What the fuck. Take medication x2 Cigarette. Try to make myself presentable. What the fuck. Cigarette. Coffee.... Read more

    Posted on 07 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • The Balance


    I’m struggling, really struggling. I’m going to roll out the cliches, but I’m in this whirlpool, spiralling down, surrounded by shit. Eventually the plug will b... Read more

    Posted on 06 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • To The Girl That Laughed

    Girl That Laughed

    I saw him too. All 20 stone of him, stomach bulging out of his vest, sprawled on the path. Snoring pretty loud, wasn’t he? With just the one shoe on, asleep in... Read more

    Posted on 05 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Have I Ever Been The Real Me?

    Have Ever Been Real

    I wonder if, once my bipolar medication is effective, I’ll be this whole other person. Does a person ‘develop’ bipolar disorder, or are they born with it? I’ve... Read more

    Posted on 04 July 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Sometimes


    it’s worth it. Sometimes all the bullshit and the trauma and the crazy simply fades away and I’m left with this wonderful girl. Just me and her, on a journey... Read more

    Posted on 30 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • How My Mental Health Ruined My Holiday

    Mental Health Ruined Holiday

    The general day to day tasks stress me out. Like, really stress me out. I write lists of things to do and get pissed off when I don’t complete them all. Read more

    Posted on 30 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • The Lithium Diaries

    Lithium Diaries

    26.06.14 Today could be the last day I’m living a life without Lithium. Feeling apprehensive. I’ve never been a huge fan of popping pills, and now my life has... Read more

    Posted on 26 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Blissful Bathing

    Blissful Bathing

    Enveloped in deep, steaming water. Luxurious silky bubbles. The fragrance of lillies and almond oil. The soft, calming tones of Enya. Read more

    Posted on 25 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Testing The Bipolar Waters

    Testing Bipolar Waters

    It’s kind of a big deal writing this, and I guess that’s our good old friend ‘stigma’ meddling with things. But, it’s better for me to put it out there, I’m a... Read more

    Posted on 23 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Being A Mother Is Shit

    Being Mother Shit

    Play dates and arts and crafts and bed time stories and dancing in the sunshine. Bollocks. I call bullshit. Whoever told you it’s like that is lying to you. It’... Read more

    Posted on 16 June 2014 FAMILY, PARENTING