Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• The Third Round Involves Answering Using Helium Balloons

  I’ve got a great idea for a game show, one I’ve patterned on my life and the lives of the people around me. I’m quite sure that this is, as we say in... Read more

  Posted on 07 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Wherein I Channel Love Through Spiced Beef

  I made meatballs the other day.The meatball recipe came to me from my father, a man well known for colorful description. The words “add 17 peas” or “stir in... Read more

  Posted on 06 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Owe No Allegiance to the Facts

  Like many people who write, I spend a lot of time in my own head. It’s pleasant in there. The skies are blue; the barometric pressure, steady; the edges,... Read more

  Posted on 05 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Bus Stop: 24th and Nicollet; Or Turns Out, I Look Pretty Suspicious

  Sometimes, nothing happens. And sometimes, it seems that everything happens at once. For the next several Fridays, I’m going to be posting on my recent time at ... Read more

  Posted on 04 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Funny, I Was First Flumist in the High School Band

  I’ve not felt well all day long. By the time I get to the bus, the paper I have stuffed into my bag has taken on special meaning.I take a seat near the back. Read more

  Posted on 03 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• A Quiet Moment with Georgina and Pearl

  

  I have taken the bus to George’s place, a self-sufficient set of rooms in an old building with high ceilings and interesting neighbors. Read more

  Posted on 02 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• There Are Birds in My Ears – And Gold in Them Thar Hills

  

  Cheryl has come with me to my first Open Mic in three, maybe four years.I have birds hanging from my ears.Cheryl leans forward, squints at my head. “What are... Read more

  Posted on 01 October 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board

  Saturday was the Autumn Brew Review. True to my intention, I done tested a number of brews. (They were delicious.) I attended an open mic last night (feedback... Read more

  Posted on 30 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Farm Animal; Or Someday, Jon's Going to Have to Sort This Guy Out

  “I told Mary, when I handle this guy, I’m gonna tear off both ears and stick my left thumb in his eye until it pops out. It’s gonna dangle on a string, an... Read more

  Posted on 29 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Seriously. Boo Be Trippin'

  From my notebook: an account of why I am usually listening to my iPod – and why I always carry a notebook on the bus.The woman in the seat two ahead of me is... Read more

  Posted on 28 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Welcome to the Quarterly Meeting of Worldwide Octopus

  9:08 a.m.Rats. I’m late.I’ll just dial in to the meeting. They’ll never know. Beep-beep–beep! Beep-beep-beep boo beep-beep-beep!The State of the Corporation... Read more

  Posted on 27 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Bus Rolls On

  The days are numbered.Overhead, the intense blue of a Minnesota sky pours down upon us, an early-fall blessing.Be happy, Minneapolitans. The bus is full: there... Read more

  Posted on 26 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Maryna’s Working on the Nuances

  

  I grew up in a home where Mentholatum was considered so much more than just an attractive green jar. Chest rub? Chapped-nostril soother? Pretend lip gloss? Read more

  Posted on 25 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Dolly Likes to Give Everyone a Heads-Up

  Who knew I could be so easily trained? Certainly none of those party to my previous relationships.And yet I havebeen trained. And by none other than one of the... Read more

  Posted on 24 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Come On! Let's Hear You Count It Back to Me!

  No one counts back your change anymore.Remember that first job, probably in 9th or 10th grade? Someone handed you a ten for a $2. Read more

  Posted on 22 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• It's True: Grunting Makes It Easier

  I was hoisting my body out of a chair the other day…UH!You know how it is. You’re terribly tired, your muscles grumbling about how you don’t take them out for... Read more

  Posted on 21 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Thursday in Minneapolis; Or Look How Young She Looks in This Shot!

  

  The city is buzzing with the change of the seasons.Despite the dread with which we foresee the frost that will coat our windshields, the sidewalks that will... Read more

  Posted on 20 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Local Woman Enjoys Picking at Things; Or Fun with the Dental Hygienist

  Contrary to local lore, I do not have, as the lunchroom monitor once described it, a “big mouth”.I explain this to my new dental hygienist, a woman with kind... Read more

  Posted on 19 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Geese Won’t Be the Only Ones Heading South Soon

  I look at my cell phone: 6:36. The temperature is a brisk 40-something, and I’ve worn a cap for the first time in five months. We have begun the short and... Read more

  Posted on 18 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hey, Is That Your Cat Up There on the Screen?

  

  The dress I am wearing is from the early 80s and made, if I’ve interpreted this correctly, out of the material used in the creation of parachutes.Food or... Read more

  Posted on 17 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION