Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• Remember When I Started This Blog?

  Today marks exactly two years since I started this blog. So to celebrate, I’m re-posting the very first post I ever posted here. I read it now and feel that I... Read more

  Posted on 11 October 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When News Was News?

  By now I’m sure you’ve all heard the tale of two weddings in Philadelphia and the ensuing brawl and tragic death of the uncle of one of the brides.  In fact, I’... Read more

  Posted on 10 October 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember High Top Sneakers?

  When I was in fifth grade it was decided by a committee of my teacher and my parents that I could graduate from Velcro sneakers to footwear with laces. Read more

  Posted on 03 October 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Were No Zip Cars?

  I walked out my front door one Sunday morning to pick the newspaper up off my driveway, and I accidentally stepped on one of those zip cars. It hurt. Read more

  Posted on 10 September 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Didn’t Have to Swerve Around People on Bicycles?

  I was coming home from the gym and hoping I didn’t get pulled over for driving while wheezing. As I was coming around a bend and searching with one blind hand... Read more

  Posted on 31 August 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember the Olympics?

  I want to thank the people at WordPress who were responsible for promoting my post, “Remember When There Was Only One Kind of Post-It Note,” to the Freshly... Read more

  Posted on 13 August 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Was Only One Type of Post-It Note?

  

  In the beginning there was paper, and there was tape.  And if you wanted to leave a note on a page of a book, you had to tape to tape a piece of paper bearing... Read more

  Posted on 24 July 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Were No Interactive Graphics?

  You may recall that about a year ago we ran a post here titled, “Remember When There Were No “TIPS” Jars?” It was a pretty terrible piece and I forgot about it... Read more

  Posted on 09 July 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remembering My Aunt Helen

  When I was born and brought home from the hospital in a Volkswagen Bug that had no baby seat but was otherwise very reliable, my parents had no bassinet in whic... Read more

  Posted on 04 July 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Playgrounds Were Dangerous?

  The playgrounds of today do not look like the playgrounds that I played on, when I ran around with my jacket unzipped and in blissful ignorance of the fact... Read more

  Posted on 25 June 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Life Before Greek Yogurt?

  When I was a kid, I remember that there were two kinds of yogurt. There was the kind with the fruit at the bottom, and the kind where the fruit was already mixe... Read more

  Posted on 15 June 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Being 13 and Drunk?

  My wife and I were dining at a popular Italian restaurant the other night. As I worked through my third bowl of salad, I learned from my wife, who minored in... Read more

  Posted on 04 June 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Weren’t All These Crasher Shows?

  The other night I was hoping to catch Civil Servants From Outer Space on the Science Channel, but instead my wife had already asserted dominion over the... Read more

  Posted on 30 May 2012 SATIRE

• Remember When There Weren’t a Million Types of Water Bottles?

  

  When I was a kid the only water bottles were simple white plastic with a ribbed bendy-straw that came out like the proboscis of a giant insect.  And the only... Read more

  Posted on 14 May 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Had Never Heard of Austerity Measures?

  Last Sunday night, or Monday morning if you use the metric system, it was announced that François Hollande had defeated Nicolas Sarkozy in the runoff election... Read more

  Posted on 10 May 2012 DEBATE, SATIRE

• Remember Mad Cow Disease?

  I am going on holiday, so luckily for all of you there won’t be any new columns here next week. The horror resumes May 7. I hear that mad cow disease is back fo... Read more

  Posted on 26 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember William Shakespeare?

  They didn’t have birth certificates in Elizabethan England, so no one knows for sure the date of William Shakespeare’s birthday, something that I imagine create... Read more

  Posted on 23 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Didn’t Have to Worry About Online Tracking?

  I recently read an article about how companies track Internet searches to aid in marketing of products and rejection of credit applications. Read more

  Posted on 19 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could See Around Most Vehicles?

  We’d come to the end of another Saturday lunch at P.F. Chang’s, and I was chewing gum so that if I got pulled over at a police checkpoint my breath wouldn’t... Read more

  Posted on 16 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Trapper Keepers?

  Everyone had one and I wanted one too. It was called a Trapper Keeper. A plastic binder with sliding plastic rings and a flap that folded over the front, so tha... Read more

  Posted on 12 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE