Glenn Waterman

LATEST ARTICLES ( 60 )

• She’s One Mastiff Con Artist

  

  It’s 3:23 in the morning. I know that because my left eye is staring at the glowing red numbers of the alarm clock that’s staring back at me from my... Read more

  Posted on 20 April 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Can I Get a Confession?

  

  The room was dark. Except for the one light. A naked bulb. In my eyes. Blinding. I’d say at least 150 watts. But I’d be guessing. I couldn’t make out the... Read more

  Posted on 03 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• A Lesson Too Hard, Too Soon

  

  The horrific reality begins to take hold of this Sandy Hook Elementary School student outside the school today after the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut.... Read more

  Posted on 15 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• You’ve Got Mail …

  

  My favorite folder in my Inbox isn’t my Inbox. It’s my Junk folder. That’s where my best email ends up.Where else can you go to find a good woman (Russian... Read more

  Posted on 11 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Say It Ain’t So, Joe

  

  Well, not exactly Joe.You see, it seems “from now on” is such a relative term. And for you, “from now on” means until the end of the year.After that - I hate... Read more

  Posted on 08 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Artist, the Bulldog

  

  If there’s one thing people learn after a few years of having pets, it’s that you don’t own them, they own you. But if the pet happens to be an English... Read more

  Posted on 02 December 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Dear Santa Claus,

  

  You’re fired.Oh, don’t give me that “Ho-ho-ho-no” bit. You know what I’m saying to you. You’re canned. Downsized. Given the shiny black boot. How about sacked,... Read more

  Posted on 30 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• If I Were a Rich Man …

  

  Someone may have won more than $550 million dollars when the winning numbers popped up in tonight’s Powerball lottery jackpot drawing. Read more

  Posted on 29 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Brown Friday is the New Black Friday

  

  If you’re an American consumer who is consumed by “the deal” and you’re reading this, evidently you survived Black Friday. Congratulations. Read more

  Posted on 25 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Turkey, Schmurkey

  

  I am not one of the children in this photograph. In fact, I don’t know any of these once-youngsters - not their names, their present life status or residential... Read more

  Posted on 22 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Alas, Poor Twinkie …

  

  … I knew you well. And while I’m at it, I knew you Hostess Wonder Bread, and Cupcakes, and Ho Hos, and Sno Balls, and Fruit Pies, and Devil Dogs and Funny... Read more

  Posted on 17 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• With My Dogs, Size Matters

  

  I like big dogs. Grew up with them, always have owned at least one. Or two. Or … well sometimes quite a few of them. Thanks to the kind-hearted desires of my... Read more

  Posted on 15 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Age Before Beauty … and Everybody Else

  

  In yesterday’s post, I grew up some. And while it’s nice to look back now and then, the true way of Man (in the word of the re-elected president) is: Forward. Read more

  Posted on 11 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Grow Up, Young Man, Grow up

  

  One of the best parts about growing up is you never know you’re doing it. It just happens, whether you like it or not. And that’s a good thing. Read more

  Posted on 10 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Crimes of the Century?

  

  I’m not a criminal by nature. I’d be a lousy crook if I ever set out to become one. Just don’t have the proper kahunas or mental deficiency to do it. Read more

  Posted on 04 November 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• What is Up, Sometimes Comes Down

  

  Lots of things fall from the sky – raindrops, snowflakes, hailstones, parachutists, cluster bombs, highwire walkers who trip, airplanes that run out of fuel,... Read more

  Posted on 24 October 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• You Lose Some, You Lose Some

  

  Every now and then I get this irresistible urge, call it a yearning even, to be so filthy rich that even China comes to me, begging to borrow money. Hey, I... Read more

  Posted on 22 October 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Binders Full of … Boring

  

  You watch the presidential debate last night? Yeah, me too. So … when did you fall asleep? Ladieeeeees and gentlemen … welcome to the never-ending 2012... Read more

  Posted on 18 October 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hello, Earth? This is Felix Falling …

  

  Sheesh, some people will do just about anything to get their name in the news. Take Felix Baumgartner, for example. To be more specific, take Felix Baumgartner... Read more

  Posted on 15 October 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Why Fido Craps in Your House

  

  October really should be my favorite month. After all, I was born during it. It usually has most of the best weather of the year in New England – the beginning... Read more

  Posted on 13 October 2012 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION