‘Twas The Night Before Christmas With An Askars Twist

In keeping with the Christmas theme we seem to be posting today, we found this poem on Tumblr and wanted to share it with you! It’s about Alexander Skarsgard, Christmas and his fans (you)!

It’s an old Christmas rhyme, but with a few revisions! Hope you like it!

Read it below…

A Visit from St. Northman

T’was the night before Christmas and Tumlbr was dead
No one was noting, seems they’d logged off instead.
All our panties were hung by the chimney with care,
We’d be greeting our Santa already bare.

And so they waited, nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of skars-plums danced in their heads.
I alone was awake, with some cookies and tea,
Settled down with my laptop, by the glow of the tree.

When outside the window I heard a loud “whump”.
Like a displacement of air, from a mile long high jump.
T’was strange and it freaked me, without a doubt,
But I’m a curious bitch, so I got up, and looked out.

The moon was full, but unfortunately, no snow.
Not the end of the world, but it does kinda blow.
Then what do my wondering eyes see outside,
But a giant blond swede, & chicks hung on for the ride.

He was a tall drink of yummy, so I drank in with greed,
And I knew in that moment it was our sexy swede.
More sticky than velco, those chicks with no shame,
And he tickled and kissed them, and called them by name!

“Down PeaceLove! and Skarsbrow!, and Meatballs! and Viking!”
“You too, Santress! and SkarsNews! , Vilf and Queen, no more biting!”
“Yes I told you to do it, but we’re at my next call.”
“You can wait on the chaise lounge, there by the wall”

Like a sweet scented hurricane they twisted round the viking,
These obstacles where met sternly but were obviously, to his liking.
After some sulking and pouting they finally let go.
But boy they did grumble and move hellish slow.

And then right away I heard on the roof.
The stomping and pacing of open back boots.
That leads to the furnace, what’s he doing I frowned.
Then in the back door Eric came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, shoulders to ground,
And those jeans, omg, *insert loud UNF sound*
With a racer tank top showing off his back,
He was a walking wet dream, as addictive as crack.

His eyes blue and green! Languid pools of delight!
His cheekbones like a model’s, he sure had the height!
His lips luscious pink and a radiant complexion,
A slight beard on his chin, absolute perfection.

A devilish flash of teeth so white and pearly,
Damn I was glad I didn’t go to bed early.
Broad shoulders, long neck, and a tight rippled belly,
Just the size of his hands turned my poor legs to jelly!

He was long and lean, a damn tasty young buck,
And I gasped when I saw him, and wanted to ——!
The heavy lidded gaze and the twist of his grin,
Made it quite clear Xrated fun would begin.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And he did the job right, he was no selfish jerk.
Then he brushed a sweet kiss cross the bridge of my nose.
And whispered a promise that quite curled my toes.

Then he called to his blog chicks with a wink and a smirk,
And they climbed up his body, like gymnasts from Cirque.
Then I heard him chuckle, ‘ere they flew out of sight,
“You’ll get your turn ladies, I can do this all night!”

Special thanks to Canadian Beavers Love Askars on Tumblr for sharing a great poem, which puts all of us in the holiday spirit and gives us some Swede dreams too!

What do you think? Share your thoughts below!