Trying to talk to men
I must be one of thousands, as a woman, who finds trying to talk to their partner about babies a real struggle.
My partner, bless his soul, is so loving and kind, and is SO good with babies and children. But when I try to discuss plans for children, he closes off completely – he just doesn’t want to know.
Even if I just fleetingly mention having a baby, for example: “We shouldn’t throw out this lego set I had as a kid, it would be good to keep if we have children”. He’ll throw me a look – in a sort of joking way, but with undertones of “you’ll be lucky if you get me to have kids”.
A growing need
It’s quite frustrating. Particularly now, at a time in my life when friends are now having babies. My closest friend is 5 months pregnant and it’s so weird that I’m beginning to feel very broody even though I’ve only seen scans of the wondrous little creation so far.
I’m not saying I really want to have one RIGHT NOW, but to just be able to discuss it properly would be nice. If you don’t ever intend to have children, and you’re very certain about it, you owe it to your partner to tell them that honestly. Going along in a relationship with completely different ambitions is not healthy, and it’s better to be totally honest about that from the very start.
It’s not as bad as you think
I’ve always known that I wanted children – just the one or maybe two. I don’t think I have the energy levels for three or more, so I want to be sensible and only have one or two. I really look forward to the whole experience; my Dad once told me that it’s the most rewarding thing in the world to bring up a child, even if it is hard work. I think there are many men out there who are a little too afraid of the responsibilities, but I think their fears are very unfounded.
I know deep down, my partner does want kids at some point, but I also know he just wants to enjoy life totally kid free, for the time being. But to not even want to talk about the future in relation to children is very worrying for a woman, and men would do well to listen up and take note! Women need to talk, so please try to understand this and take an interest.
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