In working with entrepreneurs and other business people over the years, I often hear stories of entrepreneurs who were so close to success, but somehow let it slip through their fingers. They could always give a rational excuse, like the market changed, but somehow it seemed that they were actually afraid of success, so they subtly undermined their own efforts.
I couldn’t really believe that anyone would be afraid of success, until I finished a self-help book by Patrick Daniel, “Finding Your Road to Success.” This is billed as a must-read for any entrepreneur who needs a shot of optimism. Relative to my suspected entrepreneur fear of success, Patrick outlines six rationales that my positive-thinking mind would never even consider:
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Success will lead to loneliness. Some entrepreneurs believe that success will mean working long hours, neglecting their spouse and children, which in turn could result in divorce. Women, in particular, sometimes believe that success will make them unlovable and intimidating to men.
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Success will lead to envy. Many people want what others have, and the more success a person achieves, the more envious are that person’s friends, neighbors, and colleagues. This is a reality that some entrepreneurs don’t want to deal with, and some apparently undermine their own success to avoid it.
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I’m not good enough for success. This belief can result from many things, such as having negative parents and not having a college degree. With this belief often comes “I don’t deserve success,” so they sabotage their own efforts in that direction. If this resonates with you, I don’t recommend the entrepreneur lifestyle.
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Success will change my lifestyle. Some entrepreneurs fear that the changes that come with success will actually make life less enjoyable. They believe that will have less time to, for example, enjoy sports, surf the Internet, spend time with their family, or relish the excitement of building the business. My logical mind would assume just the opposite.
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Success is too expensive. There is a cost to everything, and success is not an exception. Sometimes, to make money you have to spend money, and some entrepreneurs just can’t face the risk of making that initial investment. Certainly I know many people who would never put other’s people’s money at risk to start their business.
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I won’t be able to control everything that happens. If you fear all the things you can’t control, you should never step into the entrepreneur lifestyle. Startups have to deal with many factors outside their control, so this fear can cause an unhealthy stress and worry. Successful entrepreneurs usually relish their ability to control at least one thing that no one else has managed to figure out.
Ironically, these “fear of success” rationales are often restated by entrepreneurs as a somewhat less embarrassing, equally deadly, “fear of failure.” Fear of failure in generally recognized as one of the strongest forces holding entrepreneurs back. Yet failing in a startup is practically a rite of passage, according to investors, as well as successful entrepreneurs.
Overall, I would suggest that if you let your fears control your actions, you probably have a hard and unhappy road ahead as an entrepreneur. Most successful entrepreneurs are not fearless, but they know how to transform these fears into positive actions rather than negative ones, and they take every failure as a positive learning experience.
